You Probably Wish I Was Never Born

Abortion3by Anniel8/11/15
Do you remember a time when you were a child and you absolutely knew your parents hated you and secretly wished you had never been born? Chances are that you thought just that when you were being “picked on,” or chastised for wrongdoing. To “show” your parents how mean they were and how much you “hated” them, you yelled one of two things, the first being, “I’ll show you —- I’m leaving and never coming back;” or, secondly, “You’ll be sorry when I’m dead!”

Even in the best of homes, with the greatest of parents, such thoughts are part of almost every child’s life. The old scene of the child taking off with a hobo stick over his shoulder and a sandwich tied in a kerchief made every adult laugh (except the mothers, who cried.) With few exceptions, the children all knew their parents really loved and cherished them.

Abortion has changed that scenario for today’s young people. The thought that their parents could actually have done something to kill them has steeped children in a toxic brew of guilt for being less than perfect, leading some of them to know, beyond doubt, in the child’s mind at least, that their parents wish they had aborted them, and would do so now if they could.

Some children may actually have first hand knowledge of abortion of siblings. Feelings on this could be fractured in a million ways. On one hand it could give a child a sense of entitlement. “Look how special I am, my parents love me so much they wanted me to have all they can provide, so I get whatever I want. Thanks, Mom and Dad.” Or there is this possible scenario, “I’m such a loser how could they still love me? They should get rid of me and try again.” To further complicate matters, both thoughts could simultaneously exist in the same child. Or what if he or she DESIRES a sibling or two and feels guilt for their loss?

That feeling of entitlement also infects parents, “I deserve a career, beautiful clothes, a boat, vacations, I want it all, and I want it NOW.” Would a child who hears that respect such shallow parents or feel wanted by them?

Then there are those crack-pot parents who, without a thought, drag their children to abortion rights demonstrations. What chance do their children have to remain unscathed in the midst of such horrors?

I was grown before I knew what an abortion was and could not believe Roe v. Wade made it legal. As I was writing this my mind went back some 40 years to my first pregnancy. Bear and I were older and both so happy to be starting a family. I didn’t realize that Alaska allowed abortion through the first two trimesters until I went in for a check-up at just under 6 months. The doctor informed me that I should consider abortion right away because I only had about two weeks to get one. Shocked, I said, “Absolutely not, my husband and I want this baby.”

The doctor looked at me with a sneer and said, “Your husband? What’s he got to do with it? It’s legally none of his business.”

That was the first time I knew that fathers were out of the picture. The child was his, too, and I, acting on my own, could destroy it. I cried all the way home. Today the man, even if married, may be the one pushing the choice for abortion, after all, one designer baby, maybe two at the most is all that’s wanted.

Choice – what a word to use in relation to something as sacred as pregnancy and the birth of a child. It’s just a choice. But today’s children feel and see the results of that choice. Perhaps that’s why they are so cynical, unhappy and self centered, all at the same time. Depression is endemic in teenagers, and human closeness is lost to them, so they turn more and more to texting and social media. They want to be affirmed and noticed, but don’t get physically close, except for “hooking up,” of course.

I never knew of anyone committing suicide when I was in high school, while there were 7 suicides in one school year when my older three were there. I no longer keep track unless I know the family involved. Drug use has risen alarmingly, even to kids in middle and grade school. Drugs, sex, abortion, and the attendant horrors that accompany it – these are the nation’s moral patrimony to our children.

And our representatives have not the humanity, courage nor grace to even defund Planned Parenthood. • (2343 views)

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34 Responses to You Probably Wish I Was Never Born

  1. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    Terrific essay, Annie. Just sayin’. 😀 That really puts abortion into a new perspective.

  2. Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

    And our representatives have not the humanity, courage nor grace to even defund Planned Parenthood.

    Only because they are more or less barbarians interested in maintaining their positions and perks. If there were ever a reason for focused violence, this would be it.

  3. Timothy Lane says:

    I certainly had plenty of bad moments in childhood. There’s a reason my brother was the #1 name on my personal demonology (and I never use his name, for reasons a fan of Silence of the Lambs might guess, though our relationship has mellowed a bit in recent decades). I vaguely recall some similar moments about a desire for suicide — which no one else took seriously, of course. But the worst of it was 50 years or so ago, and the memories are at best vague. Considering the nature of what I do remember, that’s just as well.

  4. Anniel says:

    I have thought for a long time that children are conflicted over abortion because it is up close and personal in ways it never was for older people. I know it had a profound psychological effect on my own children and their friends. As my middle son’s 3rd grade teacher said when he cried to learn it meant killing a baby, “They grow up and get over it.” Do they really? Do any of us really “get over it?” Only at the expense of our souls.

    • Timothy Lane says:

      It’s easy for the Molochites to say people get over it, because that’s how they feel they would react. Like most liberals, they have no interest in understanding those who are different, such as those who don’t share their death-worship. (Note that the Eastasian governing philosophy was commonly called Death Worship, though The Book suggests that a better translation was Obliteration of the Self.)

      • Anniel says:

        Lost me on “The Book,” Timothy, which book?

        ” Obliteration of the Self” sounds very much like the nihilism of our age. We were listening the other night to the Limelighters singing one of their old songs, “Everybody Wants to go to Heaven . . . oh, but Nobody Wants to Die.” Not so true anymore.

        • Timothy Lane says:

          In 1984 The Book was the work attributed to Emmanuel Goldstein (though actually put out by the party) that accurately described the world of the 3 totalitarian super-states (Eastasia, Eurasia, and Oceania).

  5. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    I never knew of anyone committing suicide when I was in high school, while there were 7 suicides in one school year when my older three were there. I no longer keep track unless I know the family involved.

    Not sure what’s going on with that. Rush has certainly noted that the message kids get from the Left is full of doom and gloom. Humans are nothing but despoilers of a pristine paradise. And if you’re a young male, you quickly learn that that means there’s something wrong with you.

    But a lot of women are cutting themselves and suffer as well. Ol’ Beelzebub is having a field day acting through the Left to poison and discourage people of all ages.

    • Anniel says:

      I had completely forgotten about “cutting.” My nurse daughter says that’s one of the first things they check for in the ER these days. I can’t fathom the despair kids face, and absolutely everything they are told is going to destroy the world. The lies they are taught, and believe, are incredible. No joy or happiness permitted. To hear now about the actualities surrounding abortion for fun and profit has got to make life more hopeless for young people.

      • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

        A door closes. Another one opens. No one has to stay in the quagmire of liberalism/Leftism/Progressivism/atheism. No one says the cultural commissars of the Left can’t be ignored, given the boot, shown the door.

        • Anniel says:

          Brad, did you hear the young millennial on Rush this morning? The one who was talking about the teaching methods that turned him away from the education establishment? He mentioned one thing everyone of my kids hated, the “group project” assignments where everyone gets the same grade whether they do the work or not. So one or two people do the work in order to get a good grade, and the loafers loaf. I approached one teacher about the practice, and his answer was, “Heck, if I can get someone else to do my work, why not?”

          The kid on Rush said he and some of his friends recognized the unfairness on display and turned away from progressive programs because of it and other unfairness.

          • Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

            “Heck, if I can get someone else to do my work, why not?”

            Such are those in charge of building character in our youth.

            Group projects can work. But they generally work best when the people involved are allowed to chose the members of the group. That was the way touch-football worked.

            But Leftism corrupts everything it gets hold of.

            • Timothy Lane says:

              The matter of schools helping to build character (or failing to do so) was an important element in Mugger Blood, which Brad put on the bookshelf long ago. The scenes at Malcom-King-Lumumba school are priceless.

            • Anniel says:

              Absolutely agree, Master KFZ.

            • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

              Group projects work when in competition with other groups. Then you learn a real lesson. Then if you have a slacker in your group, there is an incentive to make him or her buck up and pull his or her (or “its,” as it is these days) weight.

              I think the reason group projects exist is because they are great time-wasters. The teacher can sneak off and have a smoke and there is plausible deniability. I mean, you have all these wonderful “autonomous” people kumbaya-ing in “groups.” They’re learning to “work together.” They’re “problem solving.” They’re doing just about ever damn buzz-word thing but learning something useful (unless they were one of those Rush millennials) and making good use of their time.

              • Timothy Lane says:

                I understand your problem with personal pronouns. If one of the members has a multiple personality, should the pronoun by “their”?

          • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

            No, I missed that, Annie. Might have been on the first hour. I didn’t tune in until the second hour. Sometimes Sinatra takes precedence. I know that’s a shocking thing for a conservative to say, but just bein’ honest.

            Good for those young 20-somethings…or teen-somethings. I’m not sure how old a “millennial” is without using a hand calculator. It’s great that those kids recognized what was going on. I hope they can connect the dots to the larger issue of societal socialism, even if they call that type of “group project” something such as “social justice.” I know that makes Rush’s day when he hears from people like that.

  6. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    Tim said:

    I understand your problem with personal pronouns. If one of the members has a multiple personality, should the pronoun by “their”?

    It’s a tragedy when parents give birth to a child with indeterminate or damaged genitalia…the kind of situation where you’re not sure whether you’ve got a “him” or a “her.”

    In a sane world, being confused about gender, unless there is indeterminate genitalia, is a mental illness, not something to “celebrate” or treat as normal. Someone who is confused about his or her gender needs counseling, not their own special bathroom.

    What a silly world we’ve become when giving in to people’s delusions is called being “sensitive.” If you believe you’re a cat, then fine. But don’t expect me to provide you with a sandbox.

    • Timothy Lane says:

      At present, multiple personalities are considered a psychological disorder. But I wonder what happens if the personalities are multiple sexes, as in a novel by Michael Slade.

  7. Rosalys says:

    The doctor informed me that I should consider abortion right away because I only had about two weeks to get one. Shocked, I said, “Absolutely not, my husband and I want this baby.”

    The doctor looked at me with a sneer and said, “Your husband? What’s he got to do with it? It’s legally none of his business.”

    Wow! I hope there was another doctor up in your neck of the woods to go too, Annie. What a monster!

    • Timothy Lane says:

      As I’ve mentioned before, the Terri Schiavo incident led me to conclude that the movie Coma is no longer fiction.

    • Anniel says:

      Rosalys, It wasn’t too hard to find a new doctor, but I know a lot of them have become kind of blasé about abortion. Familiarity does breed contempt, and it also breeds indifference. Watching and hearing the recordings of PP members shows indifference to the babies, and contempt for the mothers and society in general.
      Both contempt and indifference are unholy manifestations of a sick society.

      • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

        But, gee, Donald Trump says Megyn Kelly had blood in her eyes. Oooooo. Horrible. News headlines everywhere.

        But kill a few million unborn babies for profit? All you hear is crickets chirping. Who cares? It’s not a sexy topic or something.

        Someone slap me the very moment this site even has a tinge of popular culture acquiescence to it. We need not live in the same gutter culture.

      • Rosalys says:

        Annie, I said wow mainly because, as you said, this took place forty years ago. It usually takes (I thought!) a little time for a new step down the rung on the moral ladder to permeate the collective psyche. Nothing, absolutely nothing surprises me today.

        A few years ago it was popular among preachers to say, “If God doesn’t judge America, He is going to have to apologize to Sodom and Gomorrah!” It’s only gotten worse since then!

        How are we (America collectively, which condones [we are well beyond mere tolerance!] all this stinking moral decay,) any better than Nazi Germany? Communist China and the USSR? Perhaps we are worse, because we live in a “free” nation and freely choose to ignore the evil around us. Doesn’t Isaiah 5:20 say, “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil…?” Woe unto us.

        No one person is going to fix this. There isn’t any one who upon becoming President will be able to fix this. We need a good old fashioned revival in our nation – on a scale of what happened in Nineveh – because only God Himself can fix us.

        • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

          An interesting article might include a brief history of the other two or three American revivals that have previously occurred and what they accomplished and were reacting against. Then include a description on what another revival might look like, what it would be centered around, how it would work, what it would seek to accomplish, the problems it might encounter, etc.

          • Anniel says:

            Brad: Glenn Beck has talked about other revivals. I cannot imagine a Revival today, nor what form it might take, I wonder how much protection the organizers would have to pay for. And don’t forget permits, etc.
            Beck’s “Never Again Is Now” event coming up in, I’ve forgotten where, might tell us something.

            • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

              Annie, I’m persnickety, perfectionistic, and pugnacious. That said, I find it hard to believe that there could be an authentic Christian religious revival. That might just be me underestimating the Creator. But imagine a people putting personal responsibility back on the table and shelving collective responsibility. In simple terms, it means Christians emphasizing Good behavior rather than blaming bad behavior on Exxon, white people, America, Winston Churchill, or whomever.

              I admit to being entirely cynical about the likelihood of any revival being anything more than an orgy of Leftism. I don’t wish to cast a gloom over things. But so many things we have today are counterfeit. We have a counterfeit president, a counterfeit Supreme Court, a counterfeit war on terror, a counterfeit foreign policy, a counterfeit environmental policy, and on and on. Lest we forget, we have a counterfeit Pope and many Christian denominations are barely recognizable as being Bible-based. They are mere extensions of liberalism.

              Still, I’m serious that if someone wants to tackle this topic, they should, for if the Creator is real and is involved in the life of this nation, that is likely the only thing that can keep us going off the precipice. No, things aren’t all that bad right now (unless you’re amongst the unborn). But we see where all this is headed. If this once-great nation can elect a despicable man such as Obama, what else are we capable of? Who is there to put the breaks on our madness?

        • Anniel says:

          Rosalys: About 10 years after my run-in with that doctor I read that he was forced out of practice and lost his license. No reason was published, but a nurse friend told me he was an addict and got careless supplying his own drugs. How long he had been at it I never knew, but he was probably using at least coke when I went to him. People destroy themselves one way or another if they are so inclined.

          I keep reminding myself that God will always be in charge.

  8. Anniel says:

    Rush, the Mayor of Realville, this morning reported on an Italian couple who are suing the government for support for their 14-year-old daughter who survived a botched abortion. The girl has always known she was not wanted and has joined her parents in their suit. 700,000 Euros must sound good to her and she knows where the bread is buttered. Her mother said she and her husband had given up their own life-style choices because they had to rear an unwanted child.

    I realize this is just one more “tip of the iceberg choice” being reported here, but it makes me so sad to think how morally perverted people have become. How does a child handle this knowledge, “You were never wanted,” as a mentally healthy person?

  9. Timothy Lane says:

    Ben Crystal at has a “Great 8” video out on Planned Parenthood that I suspect most people here would enjoy with proposed new slogans for PP. He has such examples as “doing for blacks what the bubonic plague did for Europe” and “we love children to pieces.” The link is:

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