by Brad Nelson 11/29/15
Very little gets my blood pumping around this time of year like listening to this song pop onto the radio for the very first play of the season.
Johnny Mathis owns this song, so even if you just hum it, you owe him a royalty. This tune belongs to him like “White Christmas” does to Der Bingle. It’s a strident song but honest and sincere. As much as we might like to have sugar-plumbs dancing in our heads and choirs of angels singing from on high, the reality is we just need that seasonal change of scenery as well. We need a little Christmas — even if it contains a little PVC, plastic, and power cords.
Or a lot. I was returning a small item (some weatherstripping) to Lowe’s last night and just in front of me in the line was this mid-twenty-something guy with his plump wife who was trying to buy the last floor model of a 16-foot-tall air-filled toy soldier that he planned to put on his front lawn. We talked a bit while waiting and he let on that he loved Chevy Chase’s house in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Well, who doesn’t unless you live right next door?
The floor model of the toy soldier was all they had left and he said, despite the $200.00, he had to have it or else he’d regret it. He’s having some kind of big get-together at his house that will include at least several yards of children. You can just imagine their eyes lighting up (if their retinas aren’t burned out first…more about that later) when they see that.
I commended him for his Christmas Spirit even though perhaps it was the commercial spirit that was predominant. But it’s Christmas time and who am I to play the Scrooge? I saw the glass as half-full…and 16 feet high.
I returned my item at the Lowe’s return counter and then shopped around in the store for a couple small items that I needed. I see that the LED 60 watt bulbs are coming down in price. I bought a 3-pack for about seven-something. I paid for these decidedly non-Christmas, utilitarian items and made my way to the car in the parking lot.
What should I then behold? Well, it wasn’t a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer. It was a large (4′ x 6′?) wheeled Lowe’s red cart, covered completely with a myriad of assorted boxes, all stacked solid five feet high with boxes and boxes of Christmas lights and ornaments — including (the now deflated and bagged) 16 foot toy soldier. It’s one thing to kid about loving Chevy Chase’s house in the movie. It’s another thing to want to recreate it.
Well, that stacked palette of lights might come pretty close to doing so. I laughed and told him and his wife that they really did indeed have the Christmas spirit. They wished me a Merry Christmas and I returned the tidings. And we do indeed need a little Christmas…but that much?
Oh, what the heck. It’s indeed beginning to look a lot like Christmas and the most wonderful time of the year. And the power companies will be merry as well.
Haul out the string lights
Put them up before the power bill comes again
Fill up the front yard
I may be rushing things, but hide every blade of grass now
For we need a little wattage
Right this very kilowatt
Searchlights in the window
A Bud Light when we finish
Yes, we need a little wattage
No shadows should be in it
It hasn’t snowed a single flurry
So of short circuits we aren’t worried
We need a little wattage
At every single outlet
We need a little wattage now!
Brad is editor and chief disorganizer of StubbornThings.
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