Thought Experiment (from FOSFAX 214)

RedBlueby Timothy Lane   2/10/14
Many people have noticed the increasing differences between the Right Nation and the Obama Nation. It might make more sense if Republican-dominated areas lived the way they think people should, and Democrat-dominated areas lived the way they prefer. In the Northeast, the South, and the Left Coast this would be very easily done.

This would certainly make sexual politics much less violent. The Republicans would be permitted normal marital sex (often very narrowly defined), with everything else illegal or at least on a “don’t ask, don’t tell” basis. Democrats would have no sexual or marital restrictions – homosexuality, abortion, adultery, bestiality, pedophilia (except by the clergy and Scoutmasters), and polygamy would all be openly permitted (I admit to anticipating a bit here). Even disapproval would be banned (except that heterosexual monogamy would be somewhat frowned on). Anti-porn laws in the Right Nation would restrict explicit displays of sex and violence; in the Obama Nation, they would ban explicit smoking (tobacco) and the expression of politically incorrect views – except that obvious villains would have to express politically incorrect views and belong to politically incorrect groups.

Conservative Republicans would pay taxes at much lower rates. Indeed, businesses in the Obama Nation would be allowed only miniscule profits; the rest would be divided between the Victims’ Fund and the Lawyers’ Fund. (However, businesses could contribute to liberal Democratic politicians and groups, allowing them to keep a dollar in profits for each dollar in contributions.)

Cigarette smokers would be unhappy nearly everywhere, though a few conservative places (such as small towns in Kentucky and the Carolinas) might shun the growing restrictions. Smoking in public would be banned on a local option basis in the Right Nation, but taxes on them would be uniformly high. In the Obama Nation, the price of cigarettes would be linked to the price of gold, but no matter – no one could smoke anywhere but in the privacy of their own home. Even this would be banned if any neighbors objected, which no doubt would make liberal smokers the meekest, most inoffensive neighbors imaginable.

The Obama Nation would model its behavior policy on the carbon offsets concept. Thus, Food Monitors would strictly control every aspect of cooking and eating (using current nutritional science as their basis), but one could buy a one-year exemption by paying the lucrative salary of a Monitor. Energy Monitors would work the same way, controlling every aspect of life that expends energy for those who choose not to buy an exemption. On the other hand, the Speech Monitors would apply to everyone, though the rules would be extremely complex in order to reflect the different rights of different groups (which would depend on group victim status). Fortunately, this complexity would primarily affect the Monitors themselves. Thus, for heterosexual white males, the only permissible speech with political implications (and in the Obama Nation, everything would have political implications) would be “I hate conservatives” or some equivalent. Fortunately, few leftists are ever inclined to say anything more than that.

One aspect of this would be the required Ten Minutes Hate (liberals see O’Brien and IngSoc as pikers) as well as the ritual denunciation of hate-rhetoric. All the speech monitoring and the content of the Hates would be the responsibility of Al Sharpton.

Political ethical standards would be based on what the parties actually do rather than on professed (and largely ignored) claims. Thus, in the Right Nation, politicians of both parties would be subject to the voters if caught in any transgressions (they would face congressional shaming and on rare occasions, criminal charges). By contrast, in the Obama Nation any Republican accused of any corrupt act would face automatic conviction, whereas Democrats would be immune to any accusations of corruption, malfeasance, or other misbehavior.

Criminal laws would be similarly different. In the Right Nation, restrictions on law enforcement would be looser. In the Obama Nation, enforcement would be based on the respective group victim statuses of the (accused) perpetrator and victim. Jesse Jackson would be responsible for enforcing these provisions. Gun ownership and defense of family and home would be legal in the Right Nation. In the Obama Nation, though individuals and specially licensed gated communities would be permitted to hire specially licensed (and thus armed) security guards.

In addition, in the Left Nation the Thought Police would enforce bans on political crimes. There would be two branches: Red Guards to protect politically correct candidates from violence, harassment, heckling, insistent questioning, or other political crimes; and special enforcers in (black, blue, brown, green, or purple uniforms depending on their group identity or choice) who would heckle, harass, and physically attack anyone who openly dares to espouse politically correct views (or even is merely a convenient politically incorrect target for action). • (1263 views)

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7 Responses to Thought Experiment (from FOSFAX 214)

  1. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    I’ll take the right side of the street, thank you.

    I listened to Dennis Prager’s radio show today. He was talking to some Christian conservative who lives in California. Prager was asking him what that was like. It was interesting hearing how he was basically the equivalent of a Martian just having landed on earth.

    Somebody on Jonah Goldberg’s recent “utopia” article stated that you could sum up conservatism as: “We reject governance by wishful thinking.”

    And in my own words, it’s not so much that gay marriage, worshipping Mother Gaia, and being a pansy narcissist is aesthetically displeasing. I actually can live with true diversity. I don’t require everyone to think and act like me.

    But if I were in a lifeboat, I would frown upon the clown who was drilling holes in the bottom of the boat. And this is what the Left amounts to. At any single still moment of time, society marches on. But what we conservatives know is that a collapse is imminent. But at any given moment (as long as the modern equivalent of bread-and-circuses continues to flow) all seems fine. The wishful thinking can continue.

    I read a great quote today from an Amazon reviewer’s review of “The West’s Last Chance.” He wrote:

    Blankley draws an intriguing parallel between our situation today, and that of the America Indians and the first European settlers centuries ago. The situation was similar; in both cases they were not formally at war and even cooperated with each other at times. The Indians, he points out, could have easily held on to their heritage if they had recognized the threat of Europeans to their lifestyle, because while there were only hundreds of Europeans at first, there were thousands of Indians with superior knowledge of the land.

    That’s not only true about Islam, it’s true about the Left as well. Both are destroyers of classical liberalism and both need to be headed off at the pass. And this being true, I was thinking of the irony of what might very well come to pass. It’s quite likely that Islam will take over Europe from within by the end of this century if not sooner. And conservatives will thus likely be faced with the reality that we have more in common with Islam than Leftism. (Both are religious. Both are against the queering of society. Both believe in tradition. Both stress personal morality. Both believe in strong family ties, etc.)

    What these foolish Leftists don’t understand is that Islam hates everything they stand for. Okay, they hate about everyone else too. But listen to some of the sensible things coming out of Putan’s mouth, for instance (an example of our once staunch enemies sounding more like allies). He’s a staunch supporter of marriage and sees the danger of the gay movement.

    Well, there are areas of general agreement (compared to Leftism) between conservatives/Christians and Islam. It will be interesting to see if, as Mark Steyn says, the Left is sowing the seeds of their own doom. And it will be interesting to then see (after the destruction of the Left in Europe) if there is any kind of pragmatic convergence between American conservatives and Islam.

    • Timothy Lane says:

      That lifeboat analogy is an excellent one. Few people notice because there are only a couple of small holes. But then, there may have only been a few modest holes in the Titanic, and look what resulted.

  2. Pokey Possum says:

    “And conservatives will thus likely be faced with the reality that we have more in common with Islam than Leftism. (Both are religious. Both are against the queering of society. Both believe in tradition. Both stress personal morality. Both believe in strong family ties, etc.)”

    Brad, this excerpt from your comment conjures up an image of a gazelle and a lion drinking at the same watering hole.

    • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

      Clearly you’ve exposed the absurdity of my future-gazing,, Pokey. 🙂 But I guess it would be like the gazelle lying down with the lion at the waterhole…because someone (the Left) had set the whole Serengeti on fire.

      My overall point would be that Leftism is as foreign to traditional, Constitutional, America as Islam is. Both want to burn her down. And according to Mark Steyn’s brilliant book, “America Alone,” Europe (via demographics alone) will be an Islamic continent by the end of this century. Already the #1 name for a baby boy in all of England is some version of the name, “Mohammed.”

      This is who the Left is. They are destroyers of civilizations. Don’t let the feigned respect for the individual in terms of “gay marriage” or “the poor” fool you, as I’m sure it doesn’t. Islam wants to build a world-wide theocracy. But given that various factions of Islam have always fought to the death over rather trivial matters, there is little hope of any such thing.

      And the Left wants a One World Socialist Dictatorship. But I suspect that the imminent and quite public demise of Europe and the European Union (due to “multiculturalism” and the various Cultural Marxist ideas which has led to Islam’s takeover) will not be a good advertisement for One World Government. These fools and buffoons can’t even manage a sub-continent.

  3. steve lancaster says:

    We are living your thought experiment. Once again regionalism is defining the debate. If you live in California or the left coast government is so large and intrusive that even Big Brother has left for the South or the Dakotas. The continuing drain of people from the NE is well documented. Could anyone in 1960, except Ayn Rand, have predicted that Detroit would become a third world city? If you purchase an automobile made in the US regardless of make; the odds are that it was made below the Mason Dixon line by decedents of Civil War veterans, black and white.

    The great post-war black migration north is slowing reversing itself. If you wonder where the population of Detroit went, they are returning to the South because that is where the jobs are. If you want a real thought problem; consider what the economy would be like without Texas.

    • Timothy Lane says:

      This was written several years ago, before the election of Obama, so it’s no surprise that so much of what I predicted is in fact happening. Similarly, when I once had a short piece about a girl named Tina Brawley suing a department-store Santa for a racial insult (saying, “Ho! Ho! Ho!”), we were still mailing the issue out when there was a report from Australia that a department store had advised Santas to be careful about how they laughed lest they be insensitive.

  4. Timothy Lane says:

    I want to note that Daniel J. Mitchell of Cato has an article on Ukraine today (which can be accessed via which deals with secession, and includes a link to a humorous piece on US secession that has some similarities to this item.

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