by Timothy Lane 2/10/14
Many people have noticed the increasing differences between the Right Nation and the Obama Nation. It might make more sense if Republican-dominated areas lived the way they think people should, and Democrat-dominated areas lived the way they prefer. In the Northeast, the South, and the Left Coast this would be very easily done.
This would certainly make sexual politics much less violent. The Republicans would be permitted normal marital sex (often very narrowly defined), with everything else illegal or at least on a “don’t ask, don’t tell” basis. Democrats would have no sexual or marital restrictions – homosexuality, abortion, adultery, bestiality, pedophilia (except by the clergy and Scoutmasters), and polygamy would all be openly permitted (I admit to anticipating a bit here). Even disapproval would be banned (except that heterosexual monogamy would be somewhat frowned on). Anti-porn laws in the Right Nation would restrict explicit displays of sex and violence; in the Obama Nation, they would ban explicit smoking (tobacco) and the expression of politically incorrect views – except that obvious villains would have to express politically incorrect views and belong to politically incorrect groups.
Conservative Republicans would pay taxes at much lower rates. Indeed, businesses in the Obama Nation would be allowed only miniscule profits; the rest would be divided between the Victims’ Fund and the Lawyers’ Fund. (However, businesses could contribute to liberal Democratic politicians and groups, allowing them to keep a dollar in profits for each dollar in contributions.)
Cigarette smokers would be unhappy nearly everywhere, though a few conservative places (such as small towns in Kentucky and the Carolinas) might shun the growing restrictions. Smoking in public would be banned on a local option basis in the Right Nation, but taxes on them would be uniformly high. In the Obama Nation, the price of cigarettes would be linked to the price of gold, but no matter – no one could smoke anywhere but in the privacy of their own home. Even this would be banned if any neighbors objected, which no doubt would make liberal smokers the meekest, most inoffensive neighbors imaginable.
The Obama Nation would model its behavior policy on the carbon offsets concept. Thus, Food Monitors would strictly control every aspect of cooking and eating (using current nutritional science as their basis), but one could buy a one-year exemption by paying the lucrative salary of a Monitor. Energy Monitors would work the same way, controlling every aspect of life that expends energy for those who choose not to buy an exemption. On the other hand, the Speech Monitors would apply to everyone, though the rules would be extremely complex in order to reflect the different rights of different groups (which would depend on group victim status). Fortunately, this complexity would primarily affect the Monitors themselves. Thus, for heterosexual white males, the only permissible speech with political implications (and in the Obama Nation, everything would have political implications) would be “I hate conservatives” or some equivalent. Fortunately, few leftists are ever inclined to say anything more than that.
One aspect of this would be the required Ten Minutes Hate (liberals see O’Brien and IngSoc as pikers) as well as the ritual denunciation of hate-rhetoric. All the speech monitoring and the content of the Hates would be the responsibility of Al Sharpton.
Political ethical standards would be based on what the parties actually do rather than on professed (and largely ignored) claims. Thus, in the Right Nation, politicians of both parties would be subject to the voters if caught in any transgressions (they would face congressional shaming and on rare occasions, criminal charges). By contrast, in the Obama Nation any Republican accused of any corrupt act would face automatic conviction, whereas Democrats would be immune to any accusations of corruption, malfeasance, or other misbehavior.
Criminal laws would be similarly different. In the Right Nation, restrictions on law enforcement would be looser. In the Obama Nation, enforcement would be based on the respective group victim statuses of the (accused) perpetrator and victim. Jesse Jackson would be responsible for enforcing these provisions. Gun ownership and defense of family and home would be legal in the Right Nation. In the Obama Nation, though individuals and specially licensed gated communities would be permitted to hire specially licensed (and thus armed) security guards.
In addition, in the Left Nation the Thought Police would enforce bans on political crimes. There would be two branches: Red Guards to protect politically correct candidates from violence, harassment, heckling, insistent questioning, or other political crimes; and special enforcers in (black, blue, brown, green, or purple uniforms depending on their group identity or choice) who would heckle, harass, and physically attack anyone who openly dares to espouse politically correct views (or even is merely a convenient politically incorrect target for action). • (1181 views)