by Brad Nelson 10/12/14
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This public service gimmick is apparently necessary because it’s just possible that “awareness” itself could lead to a cure. Isn’t that how it works?
Personally, I would have thought Donate to Find a Cure for Breast Cancer Month would have been a more effective approach. Ten cents and “awareness” still won’t buy you a cup of coffee. But what do I know? Perhaps there is some karmic-like magical effect from an NFL player wearing pink on his uniform that causes the “awareness” gods to create a cure.
But we all like breasts, right? Chicks like them. Guys like them. What’s the prob? I suppose homosexuals might be the one identity group left out of all this. (Wait…I’ve just received a text . . . apparently homosexuals love things such as nipple piercing, so I may have spoken too soon about their lack of interest in breasts.)
All kidding aside, I find “Breast Cancer Awareness Month” to be pretty vapid, and more than a little creepy. When I see guys wearing pink in the NFL, it’s as if the ladies have intruded. It gives the sense that men now need to ask permission first to go ahead and act like men. That pink acts like a dog marking its territory.
But what can you do? If you complain about this obnoxious pink bullying (aka “awareness”), you’ll likely be labeled a sexist, a breast-a-phobe, or something of the sort. At the very least, your future is sure to involve social ostracism and — much more importantly — a reduction in actually breasts intersecting your life where it really counts, if you know what I mean.
So StubbornThings will go ahead and go along with this lame gimmick, if only . . . well . . . stubbornly. The good news, of course, is that November is Jock Itch Awareness Month. Ladies, we’ll let you know what you have to wear.
Brad is editor and chief disorganizer of StubbornThings.
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