The Phone Call

by Pat Tarzwell   6/9/17
I was sitting at my computer the other day, just trying to do a little work when I got the call.  It was one of those rare events where no-one else was available to answer the phone, so I picked it up and had no idea just how much fun I was about to have.  This is pretty much how it went.

Some guy:  Hi, is this Pat Tarzwell?

Me: Yes, what can I help you with?

Some guy; This is [some guy who’s name is not important, cause I don’t remember] and I work as [some title I cannot remember either] for Representative Kilmer.  I know this is short notice but I got your name from [someone else who I can’t remember their name] and she said you and your business are someone that the congressmen would like to meet. He has time tomorrow for bla, bla bla reason and would like to come out to your shop and see what you do and what he can do for your business.

Me:  No thank you.

Some guy:  This is not political and there will be no fundraising, and this could be great for your business!  [Said with a mix of bewilderment and excitement.]

Me: Don’t take this wrong but, BS, there is no reason the congressman would come out here if it wasn’t for his political gain.

Some guy: He is not running for anything right now.

[Now, at this point I decided if I had this guy on the phone I would use his time since they think so little of my time and that I should be thrilled to have the honor to host his highness for whatever he may want to do, and to drop everything I need to do just be in his proximity.]

Me: Listen, I know you are doing your job and all, but there is no way this guy has no further political aspirations and I do not feel obliged to help him in those endeavors for any reason.

Some guy: Why? This could be good for your business.

Me: Let me start again. You and your boss are trying to destroy my country! You do not know this because you have been brainwashed and both of you most likely think you are doing good.  But there is not one single issue that the congressman and I would agree on. You see, I think that to fix what is wrong with this country, the government needs to shrink so drastically that the congressman and you would be out of a job; that everything you think you are doing to help people is actually hurting them and enslaving them. You are spending or promising to spend money you do not have and can never have.  Maybe you do not know this. But just look up the unfunded liabilities of the federal government: 200 trillion dollars, not the paltry $20 trillion you admit to. I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today, comes to mind. Listen, the government cannot and should not be compassionate. It is impossible. People can and should be, but not the government.  Taking money, by force, from some just to give it to others is theft, no if ands or buts about it.  That is what you Democrats and progressives on both sides do. You think charity at gunpoint is still charity; I am sure that is what your professors brainwashed you with.

Some guy: Wouldn’t you like to tell the congressman all of this personally.

Me: I would if I thought there was any way he would listen to one word. But I have already talked to him years ago and he did not listen then.  Why would he now?  No, he will be running for governor or senator or something in the near future and I will do nothing to help him destroy this once great nation.  I am sure you and the congressman do not think he is destroying this nation, but he is a big part of the problem because he does not see or know of the things that made this a great nation.  It is not government. It is not what you can do for me. It is the freedom to make it on my own, to succeed or fail because of my own efforts; and yes I did build this, not on my own, but with other people, not the government.  This government is so far out of control, they only hinder business and freedom instead of protecting our rights. The rights you believe come from you, the government. Well, maybe no-one has pointed this out, but we derive none of our rights from government. They come from our Creator and apply to all. And your job, your reason — well, government’s reason — for existence is to defend the rights of every individual, not groups, not races, not genders, not classes, not some utopian BS.

[I had to take a breath and this guy could not get off the phone fast enough.]

Some guy: OK I will let the congressman know and I will not be bothering you again. Click

Well, like most things I write [and the slavish Editor punctuates to the best of his ability], this spiel may not have been very coherent or logical, but it came from the heart and off the cuff, so it sure felt good to unload on this guy.  I don’t think Derik Killmore will ever hear a word of what was said unless it comes out as a joke . . . You know what some idiot in Shelton said to me on the phone the other day.

Sometimes it is the little things in life that bring us joy, like a simple phone call.


Pat Tarzwell was born conservative, runs a successful hi-tech business, and lives a red-state life in a deep blue one. • (165 views)

Share
This entry was posted in Essays. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to The Phone Call

  1. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    Pat, thanks for taking the time to write this. It was altogether amusing, inspiring, and enlightening. This is the kind of real-world essay I much prefer for this site. Let’s not over-analyze everything in a vacuum. What you did was combine the principles of this country with a real-world event that was interesting to read. Bravo. And the bizarre thing is, I ought to be paying for this kind of thing. Instead, you are a generous benefactor to this site.

    And whether you are or not, you know my opinion is the same. I’m not a brown-noser. I’ll slap you around if I think it’s warranted. But I’m still waiting for you to make a major error. I’ll be glad to wait. Maybe you’ll come out for Bernie Sanders. I don’t know. Could happen.

    • pst4usa says:

      I suppose anything is possible, comrade. Thanks for the remarks.

      • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

        You’re much more likely to come out in support of Colonel Sanders, I know. But we here are tolerant of “diverse” opinions. I’ve sent off my application even now to Olympia to get a vanity license plate with “Kumbaya” on it.

        But seriously (or is he?)…the world is full of absurdity. This may seem like an exercise in futility to many, but unless we reflect back to the world a sane and reasonable opinion about things, the craziness will go unopposed and become a habit for everyone.

        And who knows what seed may have been planted? Reagan, after all, used to be a liberal (well…for the time) Democrat.

  2. Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

    Every bit helps. Good on ya.

  3. Timothy Lane says:

    The closest I’ve ever come to a call like that was a call to support the local Demagogue in the primary some years ago. I thought this was weird because we’re both Republicans by registration, and Kentucky has closed primaries.

  4. Steve Lancaster says:

    An excellent statement of Libertarian/Objectivist values. Ayn Rand would be proud.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *