State of the Messiah Address

by Tim Jones6/9/15

My fellow Americans, the state of the union is pathetic. Most of our population is uninformed, under-informed, doesn’t give a shit or just plain blind to political realities. The Constitution of the United States has been slowly disintegrating ever since Woodrow Wilson decided it was the perogative of a president to interpret it any way he wants because it’s only the good intentions that count and not the results.

Ever since both Democrats and many Republicans have bought into the notion that it is the federal government’s responsibility to make life perfect for everyone, no one’s feelings get hurt (or you’ll be sued) while heaven is created on earth. Now we’ve reached a point where we have a president who is completely circumventing the constitutional process through executive actions and bringing the heavy hand down on citizens every day.

Say what you will about Bush, but he did get congressional authorization for the Iraqi War that included such Democrat luminaries as Hillary “pay-for-play/stand-by-my-cheatin-man” Clinton, John “swift boat” Kerry, Joe “hair plugs” Biden, and John “love child/cheats on cancer-stricken wife” Edwards voting in favor of it. Our current president makes Richard “I am not a crook” Nixon, Bill “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” Clinton, and George “big government” Bush look like rank amateurs by comparison.

With the latest ruling from the EPA, keep an eye out for a friendly federal agent to inspect your property for water violations at any time in which you could be fined for having one part in a billion too much of some obscure toxin in your creek running through your backyard or just a little too much goose crap in the pond on your property. And even more recently the Occupational Safety & Health Administration (OSHA) has ordered companies a special carve-out for Bruce Jenner wannabes by mandating their restrooms allow transgenders access to either male or female ones. Overcoming the fictitious ostracizing of less then .002 percent has become the defining issue of our time!

Finally, for the black community, our president hasn’t done jack-squat for you in seven years. Gasoline has been poured on your fire by keeping the politics of identity and victimization alive by blaming all of your problems on the police and on all of the alleged racists out there. But then the Democrats wouldn’t have a deceitful, self-serving message to keep getting themselves elected year-after-year.

There have never been more Americans out of work, on food stamps, on disability (how weird so many Americans got injured in the last seven years they now get a monthly check from Uncle Sam) and living below the poverty line not to mention a majority of Americans receiving some form of federal entitlement.

And finally, if you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor, if you like your health plan, you can keep it and you will see your health insurance premiums reduced by $2,500. Not really. But let’s pretend it’s all true. So let us all give thanks to the gods of Progressivism for wreaking havoc on the country. Good night and good luck.

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One Response to State of the Messiah Address

  1. Timothy Lane says:

    I doubt any SOTU has ever been that honest. I doubt Slick Barry has ever said anything at all as honest as any part of it.

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