Song Parody of “A Hymn to Him”

by Timothy Lane   10/23/15

(With apologies to Alan J. Lerner)

Leftists are irrational, that’s all there is to that.
Their heads are full of hatred, mud, and chants.
They’re nothing but exasperating, irritating, calculating, agitating,
maddening, and infuriating brats.

Why can’t a leftist be like a real man? Hmmm?
Yes, why can’t a leftist be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square,
Eternally noble, historically fair..
When you win, we’ll always give your back a pat.
Why can’t a leftist be like that?

Why does every one do what the others do?
Can’t a leftist learn to use his head?
Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why don’t they grow up like their fathers instead?

Why can’t a leftist be like a real man?
Men are so pleasant, so eager to please.
Whenever you’re with them, you’re always at ease.

Why can’t a leftist behave like a man?
Men are so friendly, good-natured, and kind.
A better companion you never will find.

Why can’t a leftist be like a real man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps,
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to cheer you up whenever you are glu,m?\.
Why can’t a leftist be a chum?

Why is thinking something leftists never do?
And why is logic never even tried?
Botoxing their face is all they ever do;
Why don’t they straighten up the mess that’s inside?

Why can’t a leftist be more like a man?
If I were a leftist living high on the hog,
Praised and adored by one and by all,
Would I start weeping as a victim of oppression,
Or carry on as if my life was up a tree?
Would I run round complaining and exploding?
Why can’t a leftist even be like me?


Timothy Lane writes from Louisville, Kentucky and publishes the FOSFAX fanzine.
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One Response to Song Parody of “A Hymn to Him”

  1. Rosalys says:

    Leftism champions homosexuality (along with myriad other perversions.) Homosexuality has apparently evolved from men-loving-men to men-hating-manhood.

    http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/oct/29/time-to-do-away-with-manhood

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