Song Parodies

RevolverThumbby Timothy Lane
I like to do all sorts of parodies (mostly political; Obama has been a great inspiration in that respect). Many of these are song parodies, and here are a few from issue 216 of FOSFAX.

THE HIGH-TAX MAN (with apologies to George Harrison)

Let me tell you how it will be,
There’s half for you, the rest for me,
‘Cause I’m Obama, yeah, I’m the High-Tax Man.

And if you trouble me at all,
I think I just might take it all,
‘Cause I’m Obama, yeah, I’m the High-Tax Man.

If you drive a truck, I’ll tax the street.
If you get too cold, I’ll tax the heat.
If it gets too dark, I’ll tax your light.
If you need a smoke, I’ll tax your plight.

Don’t ask me what I want it for
{Tax them, Ms. Pelosi)
If you don’t want to pay some more.
(Tax them, Mr. Reid)
‘Cause I’m Obama, yeah, I’m the High-Tax Man.

Now, my advice to those who die,
Declare the pennies on your eyes,
‘Cause I’m Obama, yeah, I’m the High-Tax Man,
And you’re workin’ for no one but me.

THE BABY HYMN OF OBAMA (with apologies to Julia Ward Howe)

My eyes have seen the glory of the coming of Barack.
He is trampling on the stations whose dissent puts us in shock.
His acolytes will carry out the shearing of his flock.
His words are marching on.

(Chorus) Glory, glory, hail Obama,
Glory, glory, hail Obama,
Glory, glory, hail Obama,
His words are marching on.

Barack Obama tells us all exactly how to live.
He tells us what to do and what to think and what to give.
He doles us out the pittance that is all we need to live.
His words are marching on.

(Chorus)

Barack Obama knows that heavy taxing is a feat.
He’s eager to restrict the people’s freedom to eat sweets.
He’s sounding on the trumpet that will always call retreat.
His words are marching on.

(Chorus)

THEY CALL THE WIND OBAMA (with apologies to Alan Jay Lerner and Nelson Riddle)

In Washington we have some names
For weather dark and stormy.
The fog is Joe, the tempest Nan,
And we call the wind Obama.
Obama blows hot air around
And sets the press to lying.
Obama calls his healthcare sound
With old folks out there dying.
Obama, Obama, we call the wind Obama.

Before we knew Obama’s name
And heard his wails and whining,
We had a land of liberty,
The sun was always shining.
In panic then we sacrificed
Our freedom for some pottage.
So now Obama runs our lives,
And censors every message.
Obama, Obama, we call the wind Obama.

In D.C. there are names for fog
And wind and tempest only,
But when our ruler pushes all
The latest fads, I’m lonely.
They are a thuggish, racist crew,
With Hope and Change to guide them.
Obama blows our land away
To despots in the UN.
Obama, Obama, we call the wind Obama.
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14 Responses to Song Parodies

  1. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    Hahaha. Very good. Let me add to the fun:

    Obama
    (based on Mandy by Barry Manilow)

    I remember golden times
    Robertson, not Pastor Wright
    A shadow of a man
    Rage through a window
    Blamin’ all the whites
    The fight goes onto

    Election, just another day
    Sappy people pass my way
    Looking in their eyes
    I see effemory
    I never realized
    You made them so nappy, Obama

    Well you came as Messiah, not fakin’
    But I rushed you away, Obama
    Well you taxed me and stopped me from makin’
    And I needed May Day, Obama

    I’m standing on the edge of hope
    I walked away when Karl went rove
    Caught up in a world of personal profit
    Now tears are in my eyes
    The fuckin’ stock market, Obama

    Well you came as Messiah, not fakin’
    But I rushed you away, Obama
    Well you taxed me and stopped me from makin’
    And I needed May Day, Obama

  2. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    Based on Monty Python’s Lumberjack Song

    Can you imagine what it’s like reading and believing Ann Coulter? Wagging the same tongue for 5 years?

    But I didn’t want to be a conservative anyway. I wanted to be a socialist. Leaping from freak to freak as they bloat down the mighty mechanism of DC. The giant deficits. The political correctness. The mighty Pelosi whine. The smell of fresh cut Republican. The crack of mighty Constitutional rights. With my best girlie by my side, we’d sing…sing…sing…

    I’m a socialist, and I’m okay
    I sleep all night, do the same all day

    He’s a socialist, and he’s okay.
    He sleeps all night, does the same all day.

    I cut down Bush. I read my Marx.
    I redistribute wealth
    On Wednesday I was hoping
    To nationalize your health

    He cuts down Bush. He reads his Marx.
    He redistributes wealth
    On Wednesday he was hoping
    To nationalize your health

    He’s a socialist, and he’s okay.
    He sleeps all night, does the same all day.

    I cut down Bush. I save the whales.
    I like to abort in pairs
    I put on bomb-proof clothing
    And hang with William Ayers

    He cuts down Bush. He saves the whales.
    He likes to abort in pairs
    He puts on bomb-proof clothing
    And hangs with William Ayers

    He’s a socialist, and he’s okay.
    He sleeps all night, does the same all day.

    I cut down Bush. I say nice things.
    Spreading Messiah light
    I’d wish I’d been a loony
    Just like my Pastor Wright

  3. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    My Obama
    (Based upon My Sharona by The Knack)

    Ooh my little Marxist one, Marxist one.
    When you gonna give me some gelt, Obama?
    Ooh you make my tingle leg, my tingle leg.
    Spreadin’ just a bit of that wealth, Obama
    Never gonna stop, taxes up.
    Such an ACORN mind. Always mix it up with the bums
    of the Ayers kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Obama…

    Read a little ‘prompter huh, ah will ya huh
    Just enough to lie to my mind, Obama
    Redefining history just for me
    Clinging to the guns on the right, Obama
    Never gonna stop, taxes up. Such a leftist mind.
    Always bail it out for the love
    of the fascist kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Obama…

    When you gonna stimulate me, stimulate me.
    Is it just a matter of votes, Obama
    What is best for me, best for me?
    Can’t you just make ‘em big notes, Obama?
    Never gonna work, gave it up.
    Such a clean-cut guy. Always mix it with the rants
    of the Pastor Wright. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Obama…

    • Timothy Lane says:

      One of our contributors once sent us an anti-Obama parody of the same song, or at least it sure looks like it. He had a number of parodies, that one appearing in issue 215 (which was the first issue after Obama’s election). Here’s a poem parody (not complete) I did in the same issue, based on Shelley’s “The Mask of Anarchy”, and making extensive use of the original language:

      THE MASK OF OBAMA

      As I lay asleep in Louisville,
      There came a voice from over the Hill,
      And with great power it forth led me
      To walk in the visions of poesy.

      There was Murder, I did see —
      He had the bloat of Kennedy —
      Very smooth he looked, yet grim;
      Seven bloodhounds followed him.

      All were fat, and well they might
      Be in admirable plight.
      For one by one, and two by two,
      He tossed them fetal forms to chew
      Which from his wide cloak he drew.

      Next came Fraud, and he put on,
      Like Daley, a careful frown.
      His fake tears, which he shammed well,
      Turned to ACORNS as they fell.

      And the brainless leftists, who
      Rounds his feet played to and fro,
      Thinking every tear a gem
      Fought to gather all of them.

      Cloaked in the arrogance of light,
      Faking standards on the sly,
      Chris Matthews as Hypocrisy
      On a jackass hurried by.

      And even worse, vile Franken brayed
      In a ghastly masquerade;
      Pelosi took Al Gore to heed
      With Biden, Soros, Rahm, and Reid.

      Last Obama came; he rode
      On a white mule, splashing mud;
      He was dark, which he called Black —
      The soul of every Democrat.

      And he wore a kingly crown,
      And in his grasp a scepter shone.
      On his brow this mark I saw —
      “I AM GOD, AND KING, AND LAW.”

      With a pace stately and fast,
      Over Yankee land he passed,
      Trampling to a mire of blood
      The adoring multitude.

  4. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    Here Comes the Sea Level
    (a total ripoff of George Blarry-sun and a bit of South Park)

    Here comes the sea level, here comes the sea level,
    and I say it’s all tide

    Little dupeling, it’s been a long hot hurricaney summer
    Little dupeling, it feels like years since Al Gore feared…
    Here comes the sea level, here comes the sea level
    and I say it’s all tide

    Little exhaler, the carbon’s returning to upper places
    Little exhaler, I’m super cereal that doom is here
    Here comes the sea level, here comes the sea level
    and I say it’s all tide

    Melt, melt, melt, der whole damn Welt…
    Melt, melt, melt, der whole damn Welt…
    Melt, melt, melt, der whole damn Welt…
    Melt, melt, melt, der whole damn Welt…
    Melt, melt, melt, der whole damn Welt…

    Little ManBearPig, I feel the ice is fastly melting
    Little ManBearPig, it feels like decades you’ve been in fear
    Here comes the sea level, here comes the sea level
    and I say it’s all tide

    • Timothy Lane says:

      I have a related song in the (eventually) upcoming issue of FOSFAX, from a song by my favorite singer:

      POND SCUM (with apologies to Tony Hatch)

      When your tank’s empty and you need to refuel it,
      You can always use . . . pond scum.
      When you run out and must hustle to fill up,
      Barry says to use . . . pond scum.
      Obama says that algae is the fuel we can rely on,
      In fifty years or so you can just fill up from the next pond.
      Till then, just wait.
      Be patient and have a care,
      You can fill up and drive on when the science is there.
      So use pond scum, till all your lights are bright,
      Pond scum, fueling your car just right,
      Pond scum, someday you’ll move once again.

  5. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    This next bit is just pure silly poetry, not based on anything although the title is a play on words:

    Gaias and Dolls

    They say the earth is warming
    To do nothing is malfeasance.
    But if they can’t predict next week
    Should we give them any credence?

    How much of this is science?
    Can we trust this AlGore creature?
    Oh, if only he were Feynman
    And not this failed southern preacher

    But I will surely do my part
    To stop the warmth from starting
    I will make some more ice cubes
    And keep the cows from farting

    I do love my Mother Gaia
    I wouldn’t want to see her wetter
    So I will stop exhaling CO2
    Until Al Gore’s brain is better

  6. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    The following was a poem written for my friend who lives behind the Muslim Curtain, if you will, in The Netherlands:

    I wonder what it means to live as the Dutch?
    I must confess, I haven’t thought of this much.
    To live in a wonderland, fit for a liberal,
    Where people can hate, and it’s not even criminal.

    Unless one is Christian or loves freedom and such
    But do it Islamic and you’ll not even be touched
    We all know the West had this fall coming
    With multiculturalism and other down-dumbing

    The West hates itself and despises its roots
    This white patriarchal state of ill repute
    We must be reformed, we must all be brothers
    In the likeness of leftists, Marxists and others

    So it’s out with the old, and in with the new
    The deep core philosophy that grounds the EU
    But little is new in this tyrannical production
    Just Orwellian language to hide the corruption

    Yes, let us be brothers and honor our freedoms
    Let us have reforms, we surely need ‘em
    Let’s start with the liberals, leftists, and cranks
    Who for this current mess, we have to thank

    Let’s give them the world they desire in their hearts
    Let’s send them to Arabia, that’s just for starts
    Have fun with Islamists, in common you have much
    But keep your damn hands off the land of the Dutch

  7. pst4usa says:

    Very funny stuff guys.

    • Timothy Lane says:

      And there’s plenty more where that came from. In the upcoming issue (which has been gestating for 2 years), I have (even aside from “Pond Scum”, already entered above) 9 political song parodies (“Sixteen Bills”, “Bad, Bad Barry Bam”, “We Built Your Business”, “The Ballad of Al Gore Jr.”, “Vote Fraud Army”, “Hagel and Crist”, “Don’t Give Up”, “Brink of Corruption”, and “If You Love Me, Pass This Bill”) as well as a non-political parody (“The Girl With Treponema”), and there are many more from earlier issues.

  8. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    I Am…Assad”
    (Based on Neil Diamond’s “I Am…I Said”)

    The desert’s fine, sunshine all the time
    And the feeling is Jihad
    IEDs grow and the roads are slow
    But you know I keep thinking about
    Insurgents in Iraq

    Well, I’m Syrian born and raised
    But nowadays, I’m lost between two wars
    Jihad’s fine, but not at home
    Syria’s home but it ain’t fine no more.

    I am, Assad
    To the U.N.
    And no one’s hurt at all
    Not even Bashar
    I am, I fight
    With Iran, beside
    Kerry has lost, and he can’t even say why
    Leaving the Brothers lonely still

    Did you ever read about a Ba’athist who dreamed of being a king
    And not simply The One
    Well, except for Hussein and a few other names
    If you talk about beasts, the glory’s the same fun

    But I’ve got a rebellion deep inside
    And I’ve lied, but it won’t sway a thing
    And I’m not a dictator who likes to gas
    But I’ve never cared for the sound of Arab Springs

    I am, Assad
    To the U.N.
    And no one’s hurt at all
    Not even Bashar
    I am, I fight
    With Iran, beside
    Kerry has lost, and he can’t even say why
    Leaving the Brothers lonely still

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