by Steve Lancaster 9/19/18
This is the fifth in the dinosaur rebirth series, and by far the worst. The first movie, Jurassic Park (1993), had a plausible story line and wonderful CG dinosaurs. Even the second movie, Lost World (1997) in the series had some redeeming plot twists and again the CG Dinosaurs were the real stars.
Jurassic World, however, is as terrible as Plan 9 from Outer Space. I resisted my grandchildren’s pleading and the resulting over $50 cost to see this POS in the theaters. Even the $4.00 charge on Amazon was excessive.
The movie begins with a volcano is about to destroy the island of the dinosaurs. For reasons passing understanding, to anyone other than a dedicated PETA/leftist, a rescue effort is mounted, justified mostly because kids love dinosaurs.
The stars from the last movie return in this POS. Chris Pratt as the raptor trainer Owen Grady and Bryce Dallas Howard as the whiney redhead, (Claire Dearing). Owen is persuaded to join an expedition to save his “pet” velociraptor blue. Needless to say, the island blows up. We are supposed to suspend belief that the stars can outrun a pyroclastic flow and manage to save themselves by jumping into the ocean as the lava flows into it. Gas and temperature should have destroyed any organic matter in its way, (ask the former residents of Pompeii about that) but somehow our intrepid adventurers make it. Some of the dinosaurs are saved and the viewer is treated to what is meant to be a heart tugging image of a brontosaurs on the dock watching the ship pull away as lava engulfs it.
The movie is a sad parody of the previous movies and the only character with any common sense is Jeff Goldblum, (Dr. Ian Malcom), who in the opening minutes predicts this is not going to turn out well. At least Jeff had the good sense to take the money for what amounts to about five minutes of screen time and run for the hills.
The plausible, but not possible, science from Jurassic Park, has become so perverted that it is laughable. From cloning dinosaurs, to creating dinosaurs, to cloning humans, this movie is a laugh filled burlesque of bad lines, bad acting, and impossible writing. All of the money for production must have been spent on CG, which I admit is very good.
Sit down with a six pack and giggle waiting for the next mad, mad, mad goof. • (85 views)