Man’s Ego and Michael Bloomberg

SellwynThumbby Selwyn Duke1/25/16
The presidency had LBJ — now meet LBG. That’s another presidential aspirant, known to this writer as Little Big Gulp. You probably know him as ex-mayor of New York City Michael Bloomberg.

Little Big Gulp is a very small man with a very big wallet and an even bigger ego, but who doesn’t like big sodas. He successfully pushed for a 2012 ban on pop larger than 16 ounces, applicable to most businesses, but which was overturned by the courts as “arbitrary and capricious.” It certainly was. Perhaps, as comedian-cum-commentator Dennis Miller put it, Little Big Gulp didn’t like Big Gulps because he had to look up at the rim. Whatever the case, LBG also has big ambitions: he’s now considering a third-party presidential run.

Because, you see, we live in an unprecedented political age. With Donald Trump running the tables on the GOP side and the Bolshevik Bern giving Bill Clinton’s 527th favorite woman heartburn, Little Big Gulp thinks his time may have come: he can give Americans that moderate, sane choice, is his thinking.

And what a choice Little Big Gulp would be. New York Values™ do exist, and if you want them, LBG has that trademark. As an Internet commenter put it Sunday (I’m paraphrasing), in what could be Comment of the Week, if you combined his words with NY governor Andrew Cuomo’s to create a campaign slogan, you’d have “You only need a 16-ounce soda to kill a deer!” Besides Little Big Gulp’s antipathy for large drinks, he’s staunchly pro-abortion, pro-faux marriage, pro-homosexual agenda, pro-amnesty and pro, pro, pro, pro, pro-gun control. But he’s not a pro at reading America outside the Big Apple, which, LBG may be surprised to learn, exists and does vote somewhat differently than Gotham.

Ego is a funny thing, though. Thousands of years ago we had pharaohs fancying themselves gods. Today we have scientists supposing they’re great philosophers or theologians (paging Richard Dawkins) and liberal billionaires who think big bank accounts equate to big ideas and big electoral chances. Of course, Little Big Gulp did buy the Big Apple mayorship, and it’s said he may drop one billion dollars on a presidential bid. But he’d do well to ponder that old commercial for a Wall Street brokerage house in which ex-NBA star Shaquille O’Neal clumsily tries performing ballet in a leotard. The voiceover goes “Just because you’re good at one thing doesn’t mean you’re good at everything.” Little Big Gulp knew how to make billions, there’s no denying. What some gifted people don’t grasp, however, generally owing to a lack of humility, is that they’re much like idiot savants. They’re as stupid in everything else as they’re stupendous in their bailiwick.

But, hey, LBG is a guy who actually said in 2014, “I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to Heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in Heaven. It’s not even close.” Because, of course, God couldn’t possibly have a different standard for right and wrong than Little Big Gulp. And if there are a few minor areas of disagreement, I’m sure LBG will set the Lord straight.

Perhaps Little Big Gulp’s conception of Heaven, though, is a place just like NYC except without fat people, the need for LBG’s armed bodyguards, and with very, very, very small carbonated beverages. As for heaven on Earth, that’s been waiting for a Little Big Gulp presidency. And I’m sure Mr. and Mrs. Middle America — you know, those citizens who Obama said “cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them” — just can’t wait to elect a pro-abortion, pro-faux marriage, pro-homosexual agenda, pro-amnesty, pro-gun control, de facto atheist. Either that or he’ll draw a few votes away from the Democrat nominee as he makes Ralph Nader appear an electoral phenomenon and reality makes him feel about two-feet tall, which, it’s said, is about 50 percent less than his actual height.

But, by all means, share yourself and run, Little Big Gulp, run — your 32-ounce cup runneth over.


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9 Responses to Man’s Ego and Michael Bloomberg

  1. Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

    What some gifted people don’t grasp, however, generally owing to a lack of humility, is that they’re much like idiot savants. They’re as stupid in everything else as they’re stupendous in their bailiwick.

    Funny that you should say this. Last night, I wrote “idiot savant” on the border of a page in a book I was reading, when it mentioned the comments made by a Nobel Prize winning physicist.

    • David Ray says:

      Now that you’ve stoked my curiosity, that book was . . .

      • Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

        “The Art of Clear Thinking”, by Rudolf Flesch. The book is somewhat dated because of progress in science, but parts of it are still interesting.

        Flesch also wrote, “The Art of Plain Talk” and “The Art of Readable Writing”. Considering he was an Austrian Jew whose mother tongue was German, I find that pretty impressive. Especially as he only left Austria and came to the USA in 1938 when he was already 37 or 38 years old.

        My “idiot savant” observation was made about Nobel Prize winning Professor Percy W. Bridgeman who considered high-level abstract questions such as “What knowledge is of most worth?”, “What is truth?”, “Is society for the benefit of the individual or is the individual for the benefit of society?” as a waste of time.

        According to Flesh, Bridgeview “considers all question of this sort as examples of sheer verbalism and says they are the most useless.

        In his book Bridgeman called them “meaningless questions”; later on, he thought of an even more contemptuous word and called them “footless questions.”

        Flesch agreed with Bridgeman writing, “As you’ll expect by now, I am on the side of Bridgeman in this manner. The big questions are more than useless, they are actually harmful.”

        I consider both Bridgeman and Flesch “idiot savants” in that they are both academically intelligent yet appear to be people who think any non-materialistic thought or non-quantifiable considerations about existence are worse than a waste of time. This type of thinking is not unusual amount scientific types.

        Because they are of the opinion that such questions are worse than useless and in fact harmful, they cannot understand that such questions are a part of human existence and cause people to continue searching for “truth” and “meaning” which is something materialists claim “depends”. Of course, the big target for these people is religion. If we would all forget about myths and just think the way they do everything would be hunky-dory.

        These two men seem to consider only little discrete bits of information as worthwhile pursuing. Only intellectual eggheads could be so dismissive of innate human curiosity. But of course they are the chosen and the rest of us are benighted souls.

        The Germans have a good word for such types. It is “Fachidiot”, which basically means someone who only knows about his field of expertise. He knows little about other areas.

        • Timothy Lane says:

          A Fachidiot would be the same thing as an idiot savant, as i see it, except the latter may be knowledgeable about more than one thing. Apparently Forrest Gump was actually an idiot savant in the original novel.

          As I’m sure you’re well aware, many Germans (like many other Europeans) learn English in school, though usually it’s the British rather than American dialect.

          • Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

            A Fachidiot would not necessarily have the ticks or unusual social behavior one would normally expect from an idiot savant. I would see the one more a social description and the other a clinical one.

            Although many Europeans learn English as a second language in school, and Jews are known for their language abilities (I have known several who could speak four or five and one girl who could speak seven) I am still impressed with Flesch’s level of writing.

            I recall back in the 1970’s that one of the two people I knew who spoke perfect English was a Belgian.

  2. Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

    If this man actually believes he has any chance on becoming president, he needs to have his medicine checked. Perhaps his doctors need to reduce his dosage to fit his size.

    • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

      There’s a couple Bernie Sanders signs across the road from me. And down the block there is another one in an upstairs window. The shocking thing is not that Bloomberg might run but that he (or his ilk) can and do win now. We are surrounded by Red Diaper Doper Babies and their progeny (including many libertarians).

  3. Timothy Lane says:

    I’d much rather Bloomberg spend a billion dollars trying to promote himself into the presidency than spend it pushing his causes. If he did the latter, it might actually work somewhere. (Although I don’t think he’s up this year, imagine what a hundred million could do to besmirch David Clarke’s reputation.)

    I believe the grounds for disallowing the Big Gulp ban was that the body Bloomberg had enact the ban didn’t have the legal power to do so.

    Hillary is Bill’s 527th favorite woman? I’m surprised it isn’t higher these days.

    • David Ray says:

      I’m also surprised she isn’t ranked higher considering the stagering speaking fees that she’s set up for him.

      To be fair, I believe Selwyn was eluding to Bill’s sexual esteem of “Sir Edmund” Hillary. (Hence the joke: “What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? . . . Honey, I’ll be home in 20 minutes”)

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