Living Life out of Order

By Pokey  •  I feel like I am living my life out of order. If my life is a jigsaw puzzle to be assembled, then God seems to have started mine somewhere in the middle.

Everyone else starts at the edges because those pieces have that one flat side which makes them easy to identify. The four corners are even easier with their two flat sides. So the life of a child…the simple stuff first. But I can remember possessing an old wisdom when I was a very young child. These were not delusions of grandeur, more like the contemplative hindsight of a well-lived senior citizen within my six year old mind.

It is probably no coincidence that it is at that age I received Christ, and the Holy Spirit came to live in me. In that He is both spiritual guide and teacher, then I believe that explains the wisdom.[pullquote]The human mind likes to start at the edges and build boundaries so we can get a feeling of control. But that is the real delusion, because there are still hundreds of little pieces scattered about and we have few clues as to where they go.[/pullquote]

For most of us, life is a complex web of inter-relationships. Still, there are experiences that have taken place in my life that seem to be out of order. I’ve had things happen that I just knew were significant, but years passed before I found out why and how. Or sometimes seemingly insignificant events, abandoned and forgotten in the dusty attic of my mind, will be recalled and find their place in the present. Since God is the One who created and owns this puzzle which is my life, I have come to accept that He can choose to put it together any way He deems best.

The human mind likes to start at the edges and build boundaries so we can get a feeling of control. But that is the real delusion, because there are still hundreds of little pieces scattered about and we have few clues as to where they go. God only knows, yet He is not one to impose His will on us. So He will step back and allow us to search for the pieces that will fit into an area of our choosing. We try to figure out our lives by looking at the picture on the box top. Some pieces fall nicely into place, some take a lot of trial and error.

Those times of trial and error have often caused me to step back and say, “God help me, please! My back aches, my eyes hurt, I’m frustrated”. And the voice of Wisdom reminds me that I am His creation and that He knows the big picture without looking at the box. I just need to surrender.

It’s okay with me if He is building my life out of order (from my perspective). His ways are not my ways – for which I am thankful. I know He and I will one day step back to survey the completed work and I will marvel at how He made all those little pieces to fit together. And it will be beautiful.
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3 Responses to Living Life out of Order

  1. Glenn Fairman Glenn Fairman says:

    What a wonderful insight. I am reminded of Kurt Vonnegut’s “Slaughterhouse Five” where the main character Billy Pilgrim comes unstuck in time and constantly moves back and forth in his life. These fractured moments and memories do not make total sense until the end, when we can see the gestalt.. the final perspective of his life. The suffering that burns through us radiates like ripples through the totality of our lives, and since we are eternal beings who only inhabit the temporal sphere as aliens, we intuitively know that change and growth is occurring–even though we cannot make out just what our final form will take. But yes…….we both know that it will be beautiful. Thanks for that wisdom.

    • Timothy Lane says:

      I started to read Sluaghterhouse Five when I was in college, but gave up after a few pages because Vonnegut grossly overused his catch phrase, which Niven and Pournelle put on his tomb in Hell in their novel Inferno. So it goes.

  2. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    I’ve been into puzzles lately, Pokey. I get them second-hand at Goodwill and sometimes there are pieces missing. But no matter. Maybe that’s a reminder that nothing is perfect nor need be.

    And when doing puzzles, one certainly does start with the flat outer edges, and then you work your way in. It’s also often helpful (especially with large puzzles that have many discernable colors or areas) to sort the pieces into kinds to make the overall task easier.

    I suppose I could spin some metaphysical metaphor into that. But I’ll just let it be a stand-in for our human propensity to take one task at a time. Maybe we are part of a larger “tapestry” as some say. Maybe there is, too, a sort of “big picture” to our lives, the idea that we are going somewhere.

    Whether this “somewhere” is just psychological/economic/social development or a Cosmic development, it is clear that we humans stagnate without adding pieces to our puzzle. And there are some activities (such as watching mainstream TV) that actively work to take out pieces from our overall puzzle.

    At a young age I had no idea about life or any idea where I would be now, quite unlike you. I’m still not sure where I am now. But part of the propelling force is that I should be going somewhere (thus this site).

    I suppose this idea of “going forward” is the stuff that titillates and excites the Hillary types. But a train can be moving through beautiful countryside or it can just be heading off of a cliff. The narcissistic “Progressive” types care only for the motion, not the destination.

    And I do care about the destination even if I’m not sure what this is. This site is, in fact, an act of faith. You may have gathered by now that I am not your usual Establishment Republican, RINO, or seller of the equivalent of Ron Popeil’s Veg O’Matic (which may be of more practical value than this site at the moment). Here, ideas matter, not profits, ad clicks, or the usual measures of success. This has not been easy for some to come to grips with.

    But I’m fine with it. I’m fine with this little piece of the puzzle. And I think this site is not starting at the simple edges but has jumped clear to the middle to the hard bits. 😉 But what the hell.

    And right now my life is somewhat like the actual puzzle that I’ve had on a table in my office for a good four months now. I started it in June and, well, the weather has been nice this summer and I got about one-quarter into it and then haven’t returned to it. And I think life is like that, and that’s not always a bad thing. There’s a time for action and a time for contemplation, which is a lost art in our culture which can’t make it from the door to the car without popping a cell phone into one’s ear.

    I’m not one of those A-type hot-blooded personalities who must go, go, go all the time because of the feeling that to stay in any one place for a while is death. And I realize there are people who are more naturally outgoing than I am. But even accounting for that, we should note that the puzzle of our lives does not need to be on a continuous assembly line. There is a season for not knowing what the next piece is and instead just taking stock of our lives.

    That’s where I am right now. But the next piece will come. Of that I am certain. And just as with a puzzle, it takes a lot of experience and wisdom to try not to make pieces fit that just don’t fit.

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