by Glenn Fairman 8/1/14
The hard facts are undisputed. The increased susceptibility of the rectum to HIV infection and the truth that Gay men in general are more significantly represented in STD statistics are themselves fertile grounds for a class action law suit. Therefore, the Creator should be indicted for discrimination (you can’t get any financial traction with evolution these days) for the inequalities inherent in His biological engineering of orifices. The excretory canal should have been mandated as a co-equally efficient zone of pleasure with the vagina and all risks therein should have been leveled. Moreover, the loss of elasticity and function in the sphincter, due to incessant penile penetration, is clearly either a design flaw or manufacturing error. How many units of clothing have been ruined as the anus soon achieves the diameter of a coffee can and one can eventually excrete waste without even knowing it? Unacceptable in an egalitarian society!
Indeed, there is an organic inequality between the vagina and the anus that must be addressed monetarily. The sad fact that children cannot be incubated and expelled through the anus, with the strange exception of Barry Soetero, is a flagrant and hurtful manufacturing decision on the part of the Creator and its effects go well beyond oversight and extend into the litigationally profitable zone of malicious intent. At this very moment, teams of lawyers are hard at work crafting legislation that will seek to equalize the vicissitudes of Nature and place God on the Dock for his callous disregard of His children’s pursuit of unbounded pleasure.
Glenn Fairman writes from Highland, Ca. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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