The Kronies

by Timothy Lane   6/17/14

There’s a nice little parody website most readers will appreciate called thekronies.com, which features short animated videos parodying crony capitalism. Most are simply descriptions of the characters, but now they’ve added an actual episode.

The Kronies are a group of crony-capitalist superheroes (well, they are if you like crony capitalism) fighting the good fight against their enemies, the Entrepreneurs. The latter seek to enrich themselves by using superior competition instead of government connections. But the Kronies, led by Big G, have the advantage in the end – they don’t care about the rules because, “They make the rules. They’re Konnected.”

Big G’s team has 4 members. There’s Kaptain Korn, whose main role is mandating the use of corn-based ethanol in fuels. (I have no idea if the character bears any resemblance to the CEO of Archer-Daniels Midland.) Bankor specializes in financial manipulation (such as bailouts). Ariel Stryker makes sure that the defense budget is large (and full of big-ticket purchases) regardless of the nature of defense needs. Finally, Parts and Labor represents labor and management combining forces to benefit specific industries, often through tariffs and other means of manipulating foreign trade. Each of these characters is the subject of a video explaining his or her role.

The first actual episode deals with the Export-Import Bank. Two congresscritters are discussing the matter, and think they might (sensibly) vote against it. But Bankor quickly explains the importance of keeping it around, with the assistance of Ariel Stryker. They point out all the money it provides in loans that basically end up as subsidies to good American companies such as Enron, Solyndra, and Boeing. And, of course, a lot of that money ends up back in their pockets as campaign contributions. They quickly realize the desirability of renewing the Ex-Im, for which Big G praises them.

Perhaps, now that they’ve actually created an actual brief episode, they’ll work on providing material for the shop to sell – most likely action figures (the introductory video suggests as much) of Big G, Kaptain Korn, Ariel Stryker, Bankor, and Parts and Labor as well as the Entrepreneurs (you can’t play with them without having an enemy to fight).

Not surprisingly, this website gets mentioned on conservatives sites. For example, both on HotAir and in Daniel Mitchell’s blog on Cato (which is available also on Town Hall) the video of this episode is available. (No doubt it was at one of these that I first came across the Kronies, but that was a few months ago.) Watch the videos and enjoy the vicious satire.


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One Response to The Kronies

  1. Timothy Lane says:

    I check the website occasionally, and today I learned that they’ve added a new Krony: General Surgeon (a parody of Obamacare), scourge of the Young Invincibles.

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