by Brad Nelson 11/28/14
It was just brought to my attention by a good friend in New York that there is a new version of “Band Aid.” Years ago I did a parody of that song. Well, Band-Aid 30 deserves no less. This song practically wrote itself. I cringed at every girly-man note sung in this song. Yikes. I felt my testosterone lowering by the second.
It’s gender time, there’s no need to be a guy
At gender time, we snip off parts and we often cry
And in our world of warming we can spread celeb hot air
Throw your street cred ’round the room, it’s gender time
But bleed your heart, and make a show of caring thick
At gender time, it’s hard but sing higher than a chick
There’s a focus group outside your limo, so you’d better show you care
Where glory holes can kill you, but it’s Bush’s fault, my dear
And the gender police screeching are the nagging chimes of dopes
Well tonight it’s Chick-fil-A, and then who knows?
Bring Narcissus and light the stars in Europe West
A bit of press is all our hope tonight (ooh)
Where the girly-man’s revered, and the testicles are feared
Do they know our genderlessness at all?
Here’s to us
And all our whiny croons
Here’s to us
Can’t tell chicks from the dudes
Do they know our genderness at all?
Bleed our hearts, let them know it’s our facetime again….
Brad is editor and chief disorganizer of StubbornThings.
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