Girly-Man Aid 30

by Brad Nelson   11/28/14

It was just brought to my attention by a good friend in New York that there is a new version of “Band Aid.” Years ago I did a parody of that song. Well, Band-Aid 30 deserves no less. This song practically wrote itself. I cringed at every girly-man note sung in this song. Yikes. I felt my testosterone lowering by the second.

Girly-Man Aid 30

It’s gender time, there’s no need to be a guy
At gender time, we snip off parts and we often cry

And in our world of warming we can spread celeb hot air
Throw your street cred ’round the room, it’s gender time

But bleed your heart, and make a show of caring thick
At gender time, it’s hard but sing higher than a chick

There’s a focus group outside your limo, so you’d better show you care
Where glory holes can kill you, but it’s Bush’s fault, my dear

And the gender police screeching are the nagging chimes of dopes
Well tonight it’s Chick-fil-A, and then who knows?

Bring Narcissus and light the stars in Europe West
A bit of press is all our hope tonight (ooh)

Where the girly-man’s revered, and the testicles are feared
Do they know our genderlessness at all?

Here’s to us
And all our whiny croons
Here’s to us
Can’t tell chicks from the dudes
Do they know our genderness at all?

Bleed our hearts, let them know it’s our facetime again….


Brad is editor and chief disorganizer of StubbornThings.
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Brad Nelson

About Brad Nelson

I like books, nature, politics, old movies, Ronald Reagan (you get sort of a three-fer with that one), and the founding ideals of this country. We are the Shining City on the Hill — or ought to be. However, our land has been poisoned by Utopian aspirations and feel-good bromides. Both have replaced wisdom and facts.
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4 Responses to Girly-Man Aid 30

  1. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    The following was a parody I wrote back in November of 1985. It’s a take-off of the first Band Aid song “It’s Christmas Time.” It’s an overall parody of the “good causes” typically embraced by the celebs. They could have simply written a check in the background, but they tend to make a big show of these things…and let other people actually contribute the money by buying the records.

    So, if I know you very very very well, and trust you very very very much, I may send you an mp3 of the original recording of this that I made with my brother (he does a great Boy George…I do a hilarious Simon Le Bon). But it’s pretty risque in places and would forgo me ever running for public office (although I could redact those parts for public consumption…I’ll think about it…if you twist my arm and show some enthusiasm). But the lyrics below are tame enough. Enjoy.

    It’s Business Time

    It’s business time, there’s no need to be a saint,
    At business time, we weaponize and proliferate.

    And in our world of enemies, we can spread a pile of bombs,
    Sell your arms around the world, it’s business time.

    But who needs food when you could have another atom bomb?
    At business time, it’s hard, but how about some plutonium?

    There’s a world outside your window and it’s world hanging by a thread,
    They should spend it all on missiles, ’cause they’re better dead than red.

    And the businessmen are drinking to the merchandise we move,
    Well tonight thank god it’s guns instead of food.

    And there won’t be a glow in Africa this business day,
    The greatest radioactive device they’ll get this year is a microwave.

    ICBM’s don’t cost much and in food there is no profit,
    Do they know it’s business time at all?

    Here’s to them
    Raking sand in barren dunes
    Here’s to them
    Don’t call us we’ll be calling you
    Do they know it’s business time at all?

    Bleed the world, let them know it’s business time . . .

  2. Timothy Lane says:

    Interesting, though I’m not familiar with the original song. Incidentally, I recently thought of the possibility of doing a parody of “Annabel Lee” by Poe, inspired by the realization that one couplet describes many leftists, such as the Occupier types who have hijacked the Ferguson protest riots (and reflecting observations I’ve made in the past about trolls):

    For those radicals live with no other thought
    Than to hate, and be hated by, us.

  3. Cardinal Fang says:

    I love the old Band-Aid tune. This new one? Feels a little like self-promotion to me.

    • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

      Wouldn’t if be funny if someone did a “Band Aid” for someone like Nicolas Cage who apparently has gotten into some big-time debt? Call it “Celeb Aid.” I mean, Willy Nelson had an album and concerts to pay off his IRS debt.

      Regarding these stars, I’m totally cynical about them. As Thomas Sowell notes, the Left uses “the poor” merely as mascots for their own sense of righteousness. I think that’s what Ann Coulter uncovered in her article a while back about the missionary who contracted Ebola.

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