Donald Trump plays the Rolling Stones' "You Can't Always Get What You Want" at his rallies (an appropriate song for conservatives). But as every Demagogue prepares to run for President this year, what songs would be appropriate for them? I have a few ideas.
Michael Bloomberg talks about running, possibly as an independent, but he usually ends up doing nothing. (A pity. I'd rather he spent all that money on a futile campaign than on issue campaigns against gun rights.) The song for him would be "Abe Snake for President" by Stan Freberg.
Howard Schultz is even likelier to run, also as an independent. His song should be "Black Coffee" by Petula Clark. (You knew she was going to show up here, didn't you?)
Kirsten Gillibrand is also running, for reasons no one can figure out. Her obvious choice would be "Goodbye to Love" by the Carpenters.
Bill de Blasio has also talked about running, something no one else even in his own city wants --- but narcissists never let themselves see such unpleasant details. The obvious song for him is "The Boy from New York City".
Blonde Squaw With Empty Head obviously should use "Indian Reservation" by Paul Revere and the Raiders as her campaign song. She probably even wears a shirt and tie.
Eric Swalwell has also announced. His obvious choice would be another Rolling Stones song, "Sympathy for the Devil". (Actually, that would be appropriate for several of them.)
Pete Battygeek of South Bend is also running, as a homosexual activist. A good choice for him would be "Are You a Boy, or Are You a Girl?" by the Barbarians. This will be even more apt when an actual sexual dysphoric (aka, a transgender) runs, but so far I don't think that's happened. If that does happen, the logic alternative would be "I'm Your Venus".
Beta Male the Dork actually has measurable popularity as a political rock star. Perhaps the most appropriate song for him would be "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius" from Mary Poppins.
Mazie Hirono's campaign song should be something Polynesian, but the closest I can come up with from popular music would be "Bloody Mary" from South Pacific. It describes her charisma perfectly.
John Delany is also running, and his obvious title would be "Who Am I" by Petula Clark.
Bernie Sanders obviously should run to George Orwell's "Beasts of England", the Animal Farm equivalent of "The Internationale".
I'll leave things here at the moment.