by Brad Nelson 5/11/14
I was in Safeway yesterday looking to buy a sandwich platter for Mother’s Day. (By the way, Happy Mothers Day to all mothers out there, not perhaps including the pretend families where two homosexual guys adopt a child and then struggle over who is to be the mother on such a day as this.) And while shuffling down the aisles, I couldn’t help noticing what a bunch of slobs we’ve become, yours truly included.
It’s probably just as well that the Statue of Liberty says, “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses.” If it didn’t, America’s population might be a fifth what it is now and we’d be pleading for even more Mexicans to cross the border to do “the work that the Slobocracy just won’t do.”
Seeing what has now become a widespread (no pun intended) Slobocracy waddling daily through the marketplace, I get a glimpse of why throughout time there has usually been a ruling class. Someone had to hold up the idea that man was, or could be, more than just a dumb animal, even if by just not living in one’s own filth (or girth). Yes, this class was often thick in the conceit of “better than thou” without actually being better. But in many ways, simply the act of trying to live an uplifting, moral, educated, and hygienic life should be commended, whatever one’s state of birth or economic situation. As they say, even if you are dirt poor you can sweep the dirt floors clean.
The Slobocracy is born, in part, in the Zeitgeist of the people who believe (including liberals and libertarians) that the very idea of having “thou shall nots” is where society’s real problems stem. If we would only stopped telling people what they can’t or shouldn’t do, a near utopia of self-actualizing humans would blossom. But that’s not that flower that I smell. One look at prime time TV, your typical movie, and the bizarrely tattooed masses (festooned like cartoon characters) shows you where the lack of “thou shalt nots” will get you.
We are a constitutional republic, and that implies a measure of both limits on the Slobocracy and limits on the patricians. Theoretically, the House is for the slobs and the Senate is for the patricians. In America, we have (or used to have) a mix of this, neither creating a character that is too stuck-up or too slobbish. We shoot for the baby bear “just right.”
But now it’s all Slobocracy, including the would-be elites who act as stupidly and classlessly as the schlubs you rub elbows with at Safeway filling their carts up with donuts and using food stamps to buy them — all while wheeling around the store in a motorized cart because some are too fat to walk. And the wannabe elites (who are now just a different type of slob) have helped institutionalize this Slobocracy of the masses by erasing the “thou shall nots” by way of subsidizing at least 5 of the 7 deadly sins.
Which brings me to the real purpose of this blog post (which is not just to heckle all the slobs out there). Yes, I have a few pounds to lose and I’m trying hard to do just that. I don’t like being even a partial member of the Slobocracy. And I vow to try to clean up my language just a bit. And I vow to not where white before Memorial Day (or whatever the country-club rule is). I gave up watching TV some time ago, so this isn’t a completely new venture for me.
We really need to get back to the idea that not being a dumb, sloppy slob is a good thing. And along with some other members of this fine institution, I’ve been losing a few pounds of late. Right now I’m at 215 and I really should be at 195, at most, being 6′ 1″ in height. Where “a little chubby” ends and “Slobocracy” starts, I’m not sure. But I’d rather play it safe and lose a little more, although my exercise regimen has included the “extreme” sport of walking (2 or 3 times a week) 3 miles up a relatively steep mountain path trying always to shave a few seconds off my time. So there is slob and then there is slob. No motorized carts for me for the foreseeable future, at least I hope.
In that vein (and what verbose preamble, but I couldn’t resisting taking a few pot-shots at the pot-bellies), I’d like to hear from others regarding any good recipes for blenders and juicers they might have. Mr. Kung turned me on to the diet benefits of blender-produced drinks, which are not only good but low-cost. The one he shared with me is for an easy-to-make breakfast smoothie. I wasn’t able to find one of the ingredients (the rice protein powder) so I made a few substitutions. Here’s my version of this recipe:
1 tbsp rice flour (I'm just trying to get rid of what I bought already, and it doesn't seem to make it chalky)
1 raw egg
2 tbsp ground flax seeds
1/2 cup frozen berries (I typically do half strawberry and half blueberry)
1 cup nonfat milk
1 drop vanilla extract
2 cubes ice (the frozen berries don't make the drink "smoothie" enough for me…and the good news is that water if low-cal)
The detox aspects of this altered recipe may be less than the original because I’ve substituted nonfat milk for the vanilla almond milk. The vanilla almond milk is somewhat expensive, and I usually have nonfat milk sitting around anyway. The drop of vanilla extract puts back some of the scrumptious vanilla.
So, if you have a favorite recipe (it can be a veggie-based one as well), please share it. I’ll try it as long as the ingredients are easier to find than eye-of-newt and report back here. Our motto is, Reducing America, one slob at a time.
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