Fighting the Slobocracy

by Brad Nelson   5/11/14

I was in Safeway yesterday looking to buy a sandwich platter for Mother’s Day. (By the way, Happy Mothers Day to all mothers out there, not perhaps including the pretend families where two homosexual guys adopt a child and then struggle over who is to be the mother on such a day as this.) And while shuffling down the aisles, I couldn’t help noticing what a bunch of slobs we’ve become, yours truly included.

It’s probably just as well that the Statue of Liberty says, “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses.” If it didn’t, America’s population might be a fifth what it is now and we’d be pleading for even more Mexicans to cross the border to do “the work that the Slobocracy just won’t do.”

Seeing what has now become a widespread (no pun intended) Slobocracy waddling daily through the marketplace, I get a glimpse of why throughout time there has usually been a ruling class. Someone had to hold up the idea that man was, or could be, more than just a dumb animal, even if by just not living in one’s own filth (or girth). Yes, this class was often thick in the conceit of “better than thou” without actually being better. But in many ways, simply the act of trying to live an uplifting, moral, educated, and hygienic life should be commended, whatever one’s state of birth or economic situation. As they say, even if you are dirt poor you can sweep the dirt floors clean.

The Slobocracy is born, in part, in the Zeitgeist of the people who believe (including liberals and libertarians) that the very idea of having “thou shall nots” is where society’s real problems stem. If we would only stopped telling people what they can’t or shouldn’t do, a near utopia of self-actualizing humans would blossom. But that’s not that flower that I smell. One look at prime time TV, your typical movie, and the bizarrely tattooed masses (festooned like cartoon characters) shows you where the lack of “thou shalt nots” will get you.

We are a constitutional republic, and that implies a measure of both limits on the Slobocracy and limits on the patricians. Theoretically, the House is for the slobs and the Senate is for the patricians. In America, we have (or used to have) a mix of this, neither creating a character that is too stuck-up or too slobbish. We shoot for the baby bear “just right.”

But now it’s all Slobocracy, including the would-be elites who act as stupidly and classlessly as the schlubs you rub elbows with at Safeway filling their carts up with donuts and using food stamps to buy them — all while wheeling around the store in a motorized cart because some are too fat to walk. And the wannabe elites (who are now just a different type of slob) have helped institutionalize this Slobocracy of the masses by erasing the “thou shall nots” by way of subsidizing at least 5 of the 7 deadly sins.

Which brings me to the real purpose of this blog post (which is not just to heckle all the slobs out there). Yes, I have a few pounds to lose and I’m trying hard to do just that. I don’t like being even a partial member of the Slobocracy. And I vow to try to clean up my language just a bit. And I vow to not where white before Memorial Day (or whatever the country-club rule is). I gave up watching TV some time ago, so this isn’t a completely new venture for me.

We really need to get back to the idea that not being a dumb, sloppy slob is a good thing. And along with some other members of this fine institution, I’ve been losing a few pounds of late. Right now I’m at 215 and I really should be at 195, at most, being 6′ 1″ in height. Where “a little chubby” ends and “Slobocracy” starts, I’m not sure. But I’d rather play it safe and lose a little more, although my exercise regimen has included the “extreme” sport of walking (2 or 3 times a week) 3 miles up a relatively steep mountain path trying always to shave a few seconds off my time. So there is slob and then there is slob. No motorized carts for me for the foreseeable future, at least I hope.

In that vein (and what verbose preamble, but I couldn’t resisting taking a few pot-shots at the pot-bellies), I’d like to hear from others regarding any good recipes for blenders and juicers they might have. Mr. Kung turned me on to the diet benefits of blender-produced drinks, which are not only good but low-cost. The one he shared with me is for an easy-to-make breakfast smoothie. I wasn’t able to find one of the ingredients (the rice protein powder) so I made a few substitutions. Here’s my version of this recipe:

1 tbsp rice flour (I'm just trying to get rid of what I bought already, and it doesn't seem to make it chalky)
1 raw egg
2 tbsp ground flax seeds
1/2 cup frozen berries (I typically do half strawberry and half blueberry)
1/2 banana
1 cup nonfat milk
1 drop vanilla extract
2 cubes ice (the frozen berries don't make the drink "smoothie" enough for me…and the good news is that water if low-cal)

The detox aspects of this altered recipe may be less than the original because I’ve substituted nonfat milk for the vanilla almond milk. The vanilla almond milk is somewhat expensive, and I usually have nonfat milk sitting around anyway. The drop of vanilla extract puts back some of the scrumptious vanilla.

So, if you have a favorite recipe (it can be a veggie-based one as well), please share it. I’ll try it as long as the ingredients are easier to find than eye-of-newt and report back here. Our motto is, Reducing America, one slob at a time.
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Brad Nelson

About Brad Nelson

I like books, nature, politics, old movies, Ronald Reagan (you get sort of a three-fer with that one), and the founding ideals of this country. We are the Shining City on the Hill — or ought to be. However, our land has been poisoned by Utopian aspirations and feel-good bromides. Both have replaced wisdom and facts.
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28 Responses to Fighting the Slobocracy

  1. Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

    So you’ve noticed it too? When I was a child, we simply had no fat kids in school. I can recall two kids, who we thought were pudgy, but in today’s schools they would be considered average.

    The smoothie is part of a 2 week quick weight loss diet which my wife saw on the Dr. Oz show. The diet works. I lost 9 pounds in 2 weeks and I didn’t follow it 100% as I ate more protein than recommended and even had some simple carbohydrates once or twice. I didn’t feel tired or weak during the 2 weeks.

    After the 2 weeks were up, I continued with the breakfast smoothie, but did not follow the rest of the diet’s recommendations. During the 3 weeks that I did this, I lost another 3 pounds.

    I started the 2 week rapid weight loss diet again earlier this week and in 6 days have lost 4 more lbs.

    Once the week period is over, I will continue the smoothie and regular eating.

    Besides the health benefits, I am also happy that I am moving down the Slobocracy tables. And if I want to be a Greenie, I can say I am doing my bit for the environment.

  2. Timothy Lane says:

    As someone who’s a few inches shorter than you and probably about a hundred pounds heavier, I certainly don’t have “a few pounds to lose” (just as Obama is in a way right that there isn’t a “smidgen” of evidence of corruption at the IRS). Before the diuretics program, I was probably about 420, but fluid removal got me down below 370 within 1.5 weeks. Given that I have no intention of giving up the foods I enjoy (particularly since health advice keeps changing anyway), and I’ll never get the amount of exercise needed to push my weight down to what it should be (probably about half what it is), I accept that my weight will never even be close to normal. But even so, less is better, even if only a little less.

    As to being a slob, there’s certainly a good bit of that here (though some it simply results from a feeling of despair at keeping the house clean). My brother can be described as an anal compulsive, whereas I’m quite the opposite, which has a lot to do with why I never use his name. (Anyone who’s ever seen or read The Silence of the Lambs will understand.)

    Let’s see, subsidizing at least 5 of the 7 Deadly Sins. In the order in which they appear in Bedazzled (the original with Dudley Moore and Peter Cook, of course), those are anger (a major aspect of liberalism, hence “the angry young man”), sloth (definitely subsidized by a variety of government programs), vanity (e.g., the self-esteem movement), lust (free contraception), envy (one of the two primary aspects of liberal politics, the other being false accusations), gluttony (food stamps), and avarice. I’m not sure one can say 5 are actually subsidized, though several are and liberal politics is based on some others. Even avarice (nominally a target) is encouraged by crony capitalism and welfare for the rich.

    • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

      Yes, in terms of weight, you are a slob. Say it with me, “Hello, my name is Timothy and I’m a slob.”

      And yet, I didn’t quite write the second half of the full essay that I had in mind. I stuck to the practical part. The physical part is simple (that is, as Reagan said, it’s simple, but not necessarily easy). Thus the call for recipes and a discussion of reasonable health diets (blender or no blender) with detox, weight loss, and/or just good health in mind (and I would add “saving money” in there as well because, generally speaking, the unhealthy pre-packaged foods are more expensive, although “health foods” themselves — thanks to more than a little voodoo involved — can be enormously expensive).

      Were I the Queen (taking the Slobocracy to its natural ridiculous extremes), and were I seated on my throne with you before me kneeling (no, it’s not what you think), I would not, and could not, grant you knighthood into the Brothers (or Sisters) of the Holy Order of the Slobocracy. The problem is, you are disqualified by what you put into your mind (all the books you read), regardless of what you put into your gut. Remember, I’m not a libertarian or a Leftist. I have to have some sense of proportion and reasonableness. As George Will said, the most important words in politics are “up to a point.”

      If you were simply sitting at home stuffing donuts down your mouth while watching prime time network TV, then you would be a true Cardinal of the Slobocracy. Still, maybe you’ll try the smoothie that Mr. Kung recommended to me. It’s satisfying, fun to make, and pretty good for you. As FDR said, you have nothing to fear but slobness itself.

  3. Pokey Possum says:

    Hey Brad! It’s always great to find a good, healthy recipe. I like that you added the raw egg for protein. Reminiscent of Rocky. They might have rice protein at one of our local “supplement/health food” stores, if you want to go back to the simplicity of the original recipe. Or you could order it from Azure. I’ll email you the product info.

    My hubby found, then modified, a hot breakfast cereal recipe that you might like. It’s a healthy alternative to boxed cereal, and I think it’s delicious. But then, I wander around my yard and eat dandelions, twigs and berries – so decide for yourself. We mix up a batch of the dry ingredients (all available at Costco) and store it in a big jar with a measuring scoop inside:

    3 cups flax meal
    2 cups almond meal
    1/2 cup chia seeds
    1/4 cinnamon

    Put a cup of water on the stove to boil.
    Measure out a generous 1/3 cup of the dry mix into your cereal bowl.
    Optional ingredients: Pour 1/4 cup or more applesauce into the dry mix, and stir into a paste. Add some raw local honey. Add some beneficial oil if you want it in your diet (Hubby uses coconut oil, I use almond oil). Pinch of sea salt.
    When the water gets hot, put some frozen berries in. We use organic blueberries from Costco. Let the water come to a boil, then pour about 1/2 cup of this fruity water into your cereal and stir until it thickens. Add more water as needed. Top with the hot berries and enjoy! Disclaimer: make sure you drink enough water so all those good things don’t get stuck in the narrow places.

    Since breakfast is the most important meal of the day, I sometimes have this as a snack no matter what the time. I’m looking forward to trying the smoothie recipe…thanks to you and KFZ!

  4. Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

    I forgot to mention that in addition to the ingredients mentioned above, my wife adds 1 teaspoon of omega-3 oil, which is not in the original Dr. Oz recipe.

    • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

      Speaking of added ingredients, I added a small square (about 1″ x 1″) of 85% cocoa dark chocolate. My brother says that a little dark chocolate (especially high in cocoa) is good for you. And a teeny bit of fat (probably not as good as your omega-3 oil) is always necessary. And — hey — it’s chocolate, so it’s rare when something isn’t better with chocolate.

      I froze the chocolate first in order to hopefully get a better grind. Even so, it needed a tad bit more blending.

      I’m getting used to the rice protein. But I must say, it’s not nearly as good-tasting as a raw egg as a substitute.

      • Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

        I think I would just eat the chocolate square and be done with it.

        Your brother is correct. High cocoa dark chocolate is high in anti-oxidants, minerals and flavinoids.

  5. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    Thanks to Pokey for assisting me in my attempt to “level up” out of the Slobocracy to (what is the next stage up?) the mere Schlubocracy. She stopped by my office yesterday and got me the almond milk and some rice protein as well. I have no excuse not to regain my girlish figure but my own propensity to like a good burger once in a while (or donut).

    • Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

      It’s good to have friends.

      As the next step, you must avoid simple carbohydrates such as rice, potatoes, noodles as well as sugar for two weeks.

  6. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    I’ve been sticking fairly religiously to Mr. Kung’s suggested diet plan. And I’m down to 110 lbs. — maybe a little less, buck naked.

    One variation I like on the Original Recipe is to add about 3/4 of a tablespoon of Adams peanut butter. This is the good stuff made of peanuts and a little salt only. It has no sugar added.

    The best fruit combo I’ve found so far is strawberries and blueberries. I can’t wait to pick some huckleberries and salmonberries on the trail. The salmonberries will be getting ripe in just a couple weeks now. The huckleberries — the red ones (vaccinium parvifolium), at least — aren’t ready until July.

    I like the drink, so I’ll try to keep on this for at least one meal a day even when I reach the desired weight…whatever that is. I was initially shooting for under 200, but wouldn’t mind 195. But I have no idea how much weight I’ve put on due to muscle mass in the legs. So I’ll just try to go until I no longer even resemble a member of the Slobocracy. If I tried to hit the “ideal” weight of 185, I would be shriveled down to nothing.

    And so far the cheap $20.00 Osterizer that I got at Target has been doing the job nicely. I have no idea how long the blades last or how expensive they are.

    One thing of note is that the rice protein makes the drink a lot thicker (even with two ice cubes added to it) than if you use one egg. This isn’t necessarily better or worse, but I do much prefer the taste of the egg in it. It doesn’t taste as chalky as the protein powder. And although I wouldn’t call the egg version runny, it does seem to have a better, smoother consistency to it.

  7. Pokey Possum says:

    “I’ve been sticking fairly religiously to Mr. Kung’s suggested diet plan. And I’m down to 110 lbs. — maybe a little less, buck naked.”

    110 lbs Brad? Ya, me too. You might want to change your profile photo so we all can see….but PLEASE put on some clothes!
    Seriously, I’m glad this is working out for you. You could try that hot cereal mix in place of the flax and peanut butter, just for variation. The chia seeds will swell like mini-tapioca and make it thicker, so you might want to add more ice or berries :-).

    • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

      Ha! Make that 210. The diet hasn’t been that successful. I’d have to be stuck in a liberal reeducation camp for a few months to see that kind of weight loss.

      I haven’t had a chance to try the hot cereal yet.

      • Pokey Possum says:

        “The Liberal Reeducation Camp Diet”. You could market that!
        I was thinking you could try the hot cereal mix in your smoothie in place of the flax and peanut butter, since it has flax and almond meal in it, as well as chia seeds and cinnamon.
        It sounds so good, I think I’ll go try that right now…
        Okay..I’m back after trying the smoothie with the cereal mix in it. It was fantastic! I like the interesting texture that the chia seeds add. Of course, I put a big ole blob of local raw honey in mine and skipped the banana since I already had one. I already had lunch too, so this was dessert.

        • Timothy Lane says:

          Just out of curiosity, how does the Liberal Re-Education Camp Diet differ from the North Korean Average Citizen Diet?

        • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

          I’ll try the cereal mix in the Kung Low-Cal Pow Smoothie.

        • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

          Pokey, I liked the cereal mix substituted for the two tablespoons of ground flax. But it was a bit too cinnamony. I think I’ll just substitute the cereal mix for one of the tablespoons of ground flax (cutting the portion of cinnamon in half). I think that will work better for me.

          • Pokey Possum says:

            I just drank my lunch :-). Yesterday I noticed the cinnamon, but today I didn’t so much. And it’s the same batch as yours. I used different blueberries today…we’re all out of the organic…..so maybe they are stronger in taste. We have friends going to Lake Chelan this weekend who will bring us back 5 or 10 pounds of farm fresh blueberries!

  8. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    I’m down to 205 lbs., buck naked. This has paid off in the way most important to me right now. No, not attracting chicks or getting into clothes I haven’t been able to wear for a while. It’s helped my time for the timed mountain climb that I do on a set trail (about two miles) pretty much gut-churning steep hill trails all the way. I beat my record (acquired in my previous effort) of 30 minutes, 4 seconds by 41 seconds. The new record is 29 minutes, 23 seconds.

    This is all done with a fast walk. I decided for the moment that jogging is just a bad idea. It’s too hard on the knees. But certainly if I started jogging I could (perhaps) even go faster. But the walk is hardly a walk. It’s more Olympic-style “walk the hell as fast as you can,” but without the silly arm-pumps that they do.

    Pokey has suggested a tasty and healthful addition to Mr. Kung’s Magic Elixir: raw honey. I’ll be using a small amount, mostly for flavor (I don’t want to turn this into a sugary drink). She tells me that honey is a good anti-biotic.

  9. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    Slob Update:

    This slob is about down to 200 lbs. thanks to Mr. Kung’s Magic Elixir (recipe above somewhere). I’ve generally been having the Magic Elixir for breakfast and lunch…sometimes for dinner as well (followed by maybe a sandwich later on).

    I’ve added a few variations to the drink. Along with sometimes putting a half tablespoon of peanut butter in it, I’ve also found that putting about the same amount of cream cheese works as well (and you don’t really taste the cream cheese, but you do get a little needed protein and fat).

    A couple other minor additions, that have become a regular part of the Elixir, are about a teaspoon of walnuts, a mint leaf (1/2 is generally enough…this stuff is pretty strong), and a drip or two of raw honey (which I obtained thanks to Pokey who is my “supplier” on a number of things). Sometimes I’ll also still put a small piece of 85% cocoa chocolate in it.

    Hovering at the 200 lb. mark probably sets me thoroughly out of the Slobocracy designation and into a category a level or two below. I’ve also kept up regular exercise (mostly hiking and biking). But exercise schmexercise. It’s all about how much you eat. I was in great physical shape last year even though I had a good 25 more pounds on me. I could hike and bike all day, climb up a small mountain, and be good for a little baseball afterward. But I’d eat about as actively as well.

    • Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

      Sounds like you are on the right path. I have been off the smoothie diet for three weeks and have gained 1.5-2 lbs since. I will start the diet again in the next week or two and aim to lose another 10 lbs. Once I reach this goal, I will get off the diet again. But as you say, watching one’s diet is key for long term weight loss.

      I like your variations on the smoothie.

      By the way, the diet has helped lower my blood pressure.

      • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

        Glad to hear that your blood pressure is lower. I would think staying away, as you somewhat have, from the discussions as StubbornThings could more or less account for that. 😀

        The mint is supposedly good for the liver. The raw honey for allergies and (I would suppose) therefore good for the immune system. The walnuts…I forget why Bryan (my younger brother) said those are good. I also forget what the health benefits are of cocoa.

        I also chomp on raw vegetables before or after these drinks, usually kale, carrots, and cauliflower. I wish I could say that losing weight brings on a utopia. But it doesn’t. I still have all the regular aches and pains. But I do feel a bit lighter and more mobile. And that, more than anything, is what prompted me to do this. It’s not like I’m going to be running for Mr. Universe anytime soon. But it is nice being promoted out of the Slobocracy.

        • Kung Fu Zu Kung Fu Zu says:

          Glad to hear that your blood pressure is lower. I would think staying away, as you somewhat have, from the discussions as StubbornThings could more or less account for that.

          I think you may be right.

          Walnuts are supposed to be good for your heart as is dark chocolate.

  10. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    One other little ingredient I’ve added to Mr. Kung’s Magic Elixir is low-fat buttermilk. I add a splash (about 1/5 of the total milk) to the non-fat regular milk. It adds just a bit of “body” to it and very few extra calories.

    Also, regarding this new Health and Fitness blog, let me give you an idea of what this blog is not about. Read this hilarious article by Gerald D. Skoning about his evening with a health Nazi: Gluten for Punishment

  11. Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

    Thanks to Mr. Kung’s Magic Elixer (referenced above with the recipe), I’m now officially down to 195 lbs. I’d been hovering around 200 for quite some time and it didn’t want to budge. I think the 1400 calories I output last Saturday via 26 miles of fairly heavy mountain bike riding at Port Gamble helped to push me over the top…or over the bottom, whichever you want to look at it.

    The weather has been blisteringly beautiful in the Pacific Northwest for the past couple of weeks. The forecast looks like it will begin clouding up a bit, but it hit 90 degrees today. I went out hiking in it on my speed run up Green Mountain (about a 30 minute climb) and had a good first leg. But then the heat just zapped my strength and it was all I could do to limp in over a minute over my best time. But at least I got some exercise.

    And I saw a brown bunny tonight. He just ran out in the trail in front of me like a kamikaze rabbit, and then ran back into the bushes. Who knows what was on his mind?

    At the end of the trail, where my car was parked, I came upon something that was startling by its uniqueness: complete silence. It was about 7:45 pm and there wasn’t a car on the road, a breath of breeze in the trees, nor the sounds of any birds. It was complete and utter silence. And what was astonishing was that I realized I hadn’t heard such silence in the longest time. Even when you are out in nature miles from the nearest car or person, generally there’s still a cacophony of sounds: the wind, birds, airplanes flying in the distance, insects, the croaking of frogs, and even the popping of scotch broom pods, which are just beginning to ripen. Out on the trail there will now tend to be a constant snap, crackle, pop of them.

    But here I was out on the road with a vista of a large expanse of trees and fields all around and there was not a sound. And I wondered right then if perhaps deaf people weren’t slightly saner than the rest of us.

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