by Laura Elizabeth Richards   (1850-1943)

Once there was an elephant,
Who tried to use the telephant—
No! No! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone—
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I’ve got it right.)
Howe’er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee—
(I fear I’d better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!)

(Suggested by Timothy Lane)

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13 Responses to Eletelephony

  1. Timothy Lane says:

    Well, you obviously got a copy of the actual poem. I’m pleased that I remembered everything correctly except the punctuation. We had this in our 9th grade reader at Fort Campbell High School (the 1964-5 school year).

    • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

      Yeah. Why go from memory when a quick Google will get you the real thing?

      I kind of like this Dr. Seuss-like poetry. I’ve written some poetry before and had people say “But that doesn’t exactly rhyme.” I like poetry that plays around a bit. Tight poetry is good, but there’s a place for creatively-loose as well.

      Including the use of made-up words.

      • Timothy Lane says:

        Well, I couldn’t see where one could actually browse for poems, but this could be useful. I can think of a lot of poems I’d like to do. For example, in 10th grade we had Frost’s “Fire and Ice” and Conrad Aiken’s parody of it, “Frostbite”. That would be a nice combo to include.

        • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

          Google (although a thoroughly libtard company) does a pretty good job at finding stuff. There’s always Bing.com or a new one I’ve run across called DuckDuckGo. I think the benefit of DuckDuckGo is that they don’t track you.

          And I just used DuckDuckGo to search for “Eletelephony” and it turned up better results. Google has become so commercialize that you often have to wade through too much crap to find what you want.

          • Timothy Lane says:

            I checked that one out, and it even looks more like the version in our 9th grade reader. (This reader also had an excerpt from The Caine Mutiny, “The Adventure of the Speckled Band”, “The Cremation of Sam McGee”, and “The Ransom of Red Chief” as well as many other items.)

      • Timothy Lane says:

        It occurs to me that if you like wordplay, you would probably enjoy some of Danny Kaye’s sequences, such as the one (I think from The Court Jester) about which container had “the poison in the pellet” and which had “the brew that is true”. The choices (one got broken and had to be replaced) were “the flagon with the dragon”, “the chalice from the palace”, and “the vessel with the pestle”. Apparently Kaye’s wife tended to come up with these comic word-playing gems.

  2. Sheila Hamrick says:

    I dont’ know how I got here but I am having a bit of fun…is this an all boys site?

    • Sheila Hamrick says:

      I also have lots of poems and some stories but I wouldn’t want to be a pain…

      • Timothy Lane says:

        Brad has decided not to allow poems brought in by other writers (I wish he’d mentioned that before I sent the 2 version of “Richard Corey” by Edward Arlington Robinson and Simon & Garfunkel (which I considered an appropriate response to the news about Robin Williams). But he still includes (and would probably be happy to get more of) poems by the contributors themselves. So if you have any of your own stuff, send it in just as you would any other article.

        • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

          Tim, I appreciate the great poetry that you, Mr. Kung, and others have brought to our attention.

          The poetry/prose section was always envisioned as a place for putting our original offerings. But this site, as I’ve noted, is fairly ad hoc. But I’m going to ask you to take your game up a notch. If you have a favorite poem, give us at least four or five substantial paragraphs giving some background info on it, your thoughts and impressions, relevant biographical info on the author, etc.

          And/or dip your toe into the waters of writing something original. It doesn’t have to be great. I just has to be you. And, really, reclaiming our own selves (not that you ever lost yours, or that I’ve ever reclaimed mine…I haven’t) is a thoughtful and needed exercise in the face of mindless collectivism.

      • Brad Nelson Brad Nelson says:

        Hi, Sheila. If you have any original poems that you’ve written, but all means submit them. This is site is for both boys and girls (but not really for the other 54 “gender” options you’ll find at Facebook).

        We’re conservative/traditional American. But there’s also a tech section, a fitness section, and general blog. You’re welcome to submit what you would like and I’ll give it every consideration.

  3. Sheila Hamrick says:

    Just read your *mission statement*…what I live for.

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